Should I Let my Boyfriend Sleep With Someone Else? | Curvy Convo | Dating

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Reminder, if you’re interested in taking a Yoga class with me followed by some curvy girl talk, I’m doing a Yoga & Curvy Conversations event in NYC on Feb 15th, register here!

Here’s todays CurvyConvo question:

Hi CeCe!

I’m in a loving relationship with my man for about 4 years now. But now and then, we get a little bored so we’ve decided to do a controlled “experiment.” He and I can both sleep with one person off Tinder (the dating app!) with the caveat that we need to sign off on each other’s person. 

Tinder is interesting actually. Have you ever tried the app? What do you think? Is this a recipe for disaster? I already feel a little guilty when I attempt to contact men off Tinder.  

-Anonymous

Hi Anonymous,

Here are some things to ask yourself:

1.) Should I look for excitement inside of my relationship or outside of it?

2.) What if I don’t like this “experiment” and my boyfriend loves it?

3.) Why am I trying to save my relationship by doing things that make me feel guilty?

4.) Am I happy? Am I fulfilled? Is this the relationship for me?

5.) Do I want to be with someone who doesn’t mind me sleeping with someone else?

I’ve elaborated a bit more in this video response, I hope its helpful to you!

Side Note– for single girls looking for new dating apps to try: Yes, I have heard good things about Tinder and the other swipe-quickly app, TryHotorNot which is a new take on the old time-killing site that people were obsessed with a few years back. Robert would kill me if I signed up, so if you’re on either of these new sites let me know how it goes for you ;-)

…thoughts? What advice do you have for our girl?

CeCe@thebiggirlblog.com

curvy convo cece olisa cheating

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  • Yula Eckhart

    Nooooooo, big noooooo if this is the case be single then. You can’t take this back once done.
    Rekindle, re-romance, go get toyz…. Anything, sounds like an eternal hall pass.
    You’ll be wondering each time he’s tuned out if he’s thinking of her, if he’s late from work,
    If he’s with the other.
    Nooooook it’s a ticking time bomb!!!

    • thebiggirlblog

      Agreed

  • Yula Eckhart

    Nooooooo, big noooooo if this is the case be single then. You can’t take this back once done.
    Rekindle, re-romance, go get toyz…. Anything, sounds like an eternal hall pass.
    You’ll be wondering each time he’s tuned out if he’s thinking of her, if he’s late from work,
    If he’s with the other.
    Nooooook it’s a ticking time bomb!!!

    • thebiggirlblog

      Agreed

  • AstarteOurania

    I kind of wonder how many people are married 30, 40 plus years without “experimenting” and they make it work. My mom has said that yes, you do get bored from time to time but there are things that keep you together. My question is, why is it whenever someone feels bored in a relationship, they think that means they should have sex with someone else? (Being that I’ve seen similar questions around the internet lately).

    Boredom means review your relationship. Sometimes you need to let the boredom have its time and pass, other times change what you’ve been doing together. Going outside the relationship sets a bad precedent…unless you and your partner are polyamorous. That’s another story. :)

  • AstarteOurania

    I kind of wonder how many people are married 30, 40 plus years without “experimenting” and they make it work. My mom has said that yes, you do get bored from time to time but there are things that keep you together. My question is, why is it whenever someone feels bored in a relationship, they think that means they should have sex with someone else? (Being that I’ve seen similar questions around the internet lately).

    Boredom means review your relationship. Sometimes you need to let the boredom have its time and pass, other times change what you’ve been doing together. Going outside the relationship sets a bad precedent…unless you and your partner are polyamorous. That’s another story. :)

  • Luscious Scylla

    I am 30 something, been married 10 years. :) My hubby and I don’t get bored because we have a lot of hobbies we share, and an active imagination.

    To be honest, most of the polyamorous people I have known, whether casually or as a persistent lifestyle, end up pretty stressed/unhappy because it is hard to juggle the needs of all of your partners and have enough left of yourself FOR yourself. The people who make it work are aware of the extra challenges that go into sharing your partner with someone else (and vice versa), go for full honesty in all endeavors, and expect that sometimes, there will be awkwardness and jealousy–no one is exempt. It is not as easy as it might seem to separate emotions from sex, so that will complicate things without a doubt.

    I personally have enough on my plate to even think about juggling multiple people in a relationship, sexual or otherwise! So take this with a grain of salt.

  • Luscious Scylla

    I am 30 something, been married 10 years. :) My hubby and I don’t get bored because we have a lot of hobbies we share, and an active imagination.

    To be honest, most of the polyamorous people I have known, whether casually or as a persistent lifestyle, end up pretty stressed/unhappy because it is hard to juggle the needs of all of your partners and have enough left of yourself FOR yourself. The people who make it work are aware of the extra challenges that go into sharing your partner with someone else (and vice versa), go for full honesty in all endeavors, and expect that sometimes, there will be awkwardness and jealousy–no one is exempt. It is not as easy as it might seem to separate emotions from sex, so that will complicate things without a doubt.

    I personally have enough on my plate to even think about juggling multiple people in a relationship, sexual or otherwise! So take this with a grain of salt.