Greetings from California! I’ve been quiet on twitter/facebook as I’ve been spending all my time with the fam. I fly back to NYC on Wednesday and I’ll have more updates for you then but a thought crossed my mind and I wanted to share it with you so here it is Hope you’re all having a good week… xoxo
Yesterday afternoon my sisters and I got ready to go for a swim in the backyard. As I pulled on my bathing suit, I took a minute to take in my body right now. Of course, I’m on cloud nine about losing 30 pounds and I know I have a few more big goals to hit but I had a little epiphany about my own personal body image.
I’m starting to wonder if I should be focusing on my shape instead of my size.
For as long as I can remember I’ve hated being large/fat/big. Growing up, I was always taller and bigger than everyone in my classes so I was obsessed with the idea of shrinking down. I knew I couldn’t make myself shorter, so my goal was always to be thin/small/skinny. I used to look at girls that had bones you could see and space between their thighs and think I want THAT body.
Thanks to good genes and tap dancing, I have toned legs with no cellulite and I don’t mind having big boobs, but my trouble spots are my inner thighs, stomach and the backs of my arms. Somehow, I’ve gone from loathing those parts of my body looking at those chunky areas and accepting that my body is saying to me: CeCe, your inner thighs will always have chub rub instead of a space between them. The backs of your arms will always have extra movement when you wave them around and you will probably never see your ribcage poking out… end of story.
My ideal body type is changing and with that change, I think I might be able to set more realistic goals for myself. I’m starting to wonder if I should be focusing on the shape of my body instead of the size. In my observation, the shape of a Plus Size Princess can make all the difference.
Do you ever notice that if a PSP has no boobs or not butt, they’re more apt to feel disproportionate? (I know this from experience because I barely have any “junk in the trunk”). Its making me wonder if my body journey should be more about toning up and letting the fat stick around in the “right places” instead of getting smaller/shrinking down because if I get small and have the same shape… I have a feeling still I wont be pleased with my body.
Yesterday, when I was looking at myself in the mirror I found myself ignoring my thighs/arms and focusing on my midsection, thinking… if I can just tone and slim down here I’ll be good. I did some google searching and came across an image that I think represents the spirit of my size vs. shape epiphany.
This is an image from plus model, Fluvia (www.fluvialacerda.blog.com) she boasts being a size 18!!! (side note: I’ve met her in person and she’s amazing inside and out)
I never could have imagined that I’d covet a body like this, but I do! I look at her and I’m like YES YES YES! I want THAT body! and for the first time I feel like I’m coveting something that might actually be attainable. It will take lots of hard work, but its something I can work towards that without feeling like I’m delusional.
Do YOU ever focus on your shape instead of your size?