A Jar of Red Velvet Cake

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I came home yesterday to find this waiting for me outside my door…

Yes, that is a jar of cake. My next door neighbor had one waiting for her too. Both had little notes on them from the guy who lives upstairs. “Leftover Birthday Cake… Enjoy!”

I sighed and took the jar of cake inside with me (it was red velvet, my fave!) I had just come in from a cardio fusion class and was planning to make fajitas packed with veggies and grilled chicken and maybe have a Skinny Cow for dessert. I was frustrated because I had been very particular about what I brought into my house this week. It seems like no matter how I try, temptation lands on my doorstep… literally.

As I made the fajitas (which were amazing, I might add) I was very careful not to open the jar and snack on the cake. When I finished dinner I took a shower and then before I brushed my teeth, I took a spoon full of cake from the jar. It was delicious. I took another spoonful, then another. I cursed temptation with each bite for ruining my good eating plan. Then I stopped, set the spoon in the sink, walked over to my garbage can and dumped all of the cake pieces into the trash. I would have set the jar in the trash, but that left the option of taking it out in a moment of weakness and eating more cake. Let’s be honest, I’d totally do that.

I feel like its easy to eat well when I have a house full of fruits and veggies. But the real eating choices are made when I have bad options at my fingertips. A friendly neighbor bringing cake to my doorstep is a part of life. Life wont stop so that I can lose weight. I have to learn to eat well while life is happening! I made the right choice this time… hopefully I can do it again.

Last time I weighed I’d lost another 2.6 pounds… “aunt flow” is in town right now though, so I’m not sure where I am. I’ll give you a true number next week.

How’s everyone else doing?

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  • HP

    Hmm, I honestly think that you missed a great opportunity for a lesson in self-control. I understand that you’re being a food nazi with what you bring into your house and it’s good that you are trying to change your food habits. However as you said, life doesn’t stop when you’re trying to lose weight. Just because it’s there doesn’t mean that you have to eat the whole thing. You could have gotten a small serving, put the jar all the way in the back of your fridge, eaten your serving and once you brushed your teeth, then the mouth drive thru is closed for the evening. If you can’t handle the self-control it takes to refuse eating the entire jar of cake, then you need to learn to be able to do it. Otherwise you’ll be stuck weighing, counting calories and stressing over everything food related that is near you forever. That’s no way to live and it’s a vicious cycle. Even olympic athletes have a bit of indulgence now and then.

    I’m overweight and struggle with it but I also don’t believe in limiting myself because then you’ll only crave it more. And hell, depending on how that cake was made (specifically if it was homemade) it may have been infinitely healthier in the long run than eating processed “good for you” treats like Skinny Cow.

    Sorry I just feel that you could have overcome this problem much better than just throwing it away and refusing to really deal with it. Also I just hate when people waste food.

    • http://twitter.com/thebiggirlblog The Big Girl Blog

      I agree with you 100% in theory. But there are some things that you don’t know about me when it comes to food. I’ll share it eventually, when I’ve wrapped my head around it more. But getting rid of it was the best choice for me at this point. Re: wasting food, I could have done as Slave to Fashion recommended and brought it into work or something, but I didn’t think of that. Next time I will! xoxo

      • Rachel

        I found your blog a while ago, and I’ve loved it…until I read the comments today. The two people above seem more judgmental then holding you accountable. The truth is, for any PSP, that what works for one person will not work for EVERYONE else, and what worked for you a month ago might not be what you need right now. Losing weight is definitely a journey. You’re doing an amazing job, and it was a HUGE strength to be able to admit that you wanted the cake and say no to it anyway! The big girls around the world applaud your efforts….and some of us hope to be just as strong when we’re faced with the same temptation. As far as “wasting food” or “paying it forward”….I would have been glad that one of my co-workers threw it away instead of bringing it in. I can’t say I’d have had the strength to say no.

        • http://twitter.com/thebiggirlblog The Big Girl Blog

          Hey Miss,
          I totally hear what you’re saying and that’s exactly what I’m trying to figure out!! The “right” decision for me changes constantly… my main goal is to see the numbers on the scale go down and my strength/agility go up. Sometimes I have to be militant to make that happen, but that’s what works for me.

          Thanks for your supportive words!!!

          xoxo

      • HP

        I understand, please don’t think I was trying to attack you. I LOVE your blog and as a PSP who has my own weight battles, that I’m still in the midst of battling, I know where you’re coming from about the temptations and not wanting to ruin your day of work. What works for me and others may not work for you. But being the foodie I am, it makes me sad when people limit their enjoyment of food for whatever reason. Food is meant to be enjoyed, or else everything would taste the same and it would be purely nutritional paste. I have my own problems limiting that enjoyment sometimes but I’m working on getting there and I know you are too. Congrats on your continued weight loss and fitness milestones! It really is inspiring! :-)

        • Anonymous

          Didn’t feel attacked at all… I always love a little perspective! xoxo

  • Chantalb

    I am the same. I only have healthy foods at home so there is no temptations< I just really battle when the there is more options than just healthy.

    • http://twitter.com/thebiggirlblog The Big Girl Blog

      I battle too…

  • http://austinstf.tumblr.com slavetofashion

    I applaud all of your amazing work in getting healthy. You have really taken control and stuck to your guns. But honey, real life happens and people offer you food, and obsessing over every single bite of cake is not the way you want to live the rest of your life. I would have taken the jar, cut a piece from the top, put it on a plate, and eaten it. The jar would have gone into the fridge, and I would have taken it to work the next day to “pay it forward.” Cake is not the end of the world, nor is eating a bit ruining a day’s work. I have to agree with HP – you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of obsessing and counting and denying and relapsing. That’s called dieting and we all know that dieting does not work in the long run. Be proud of yourself and all that you have accomplished!

    • http://twitter.com/thebiggirlblog The Big Girl Blog

      As I mentioned to HP, there are some things that you don’t know about me when it comes to food. I’ll share it eventually, when I’ve wrapped my head around it more.

      I don’t plan on living my life in crazy/obsessive mode (I wrote a post about having milkshakes and feeling good about that recently) but right now there are some lessons I need to learn. The first lesson is what my limits are and getting rid of the cake ASAP was what I needed at the time.

      I’ll DEFINITELY bring it into work next time instead of tossing it though.

      xoxo

  • http://singlikesassy.blogspot.com SingLikeSassy

    I wouldn’t have eaten that because I would think something was wrong with it, but I’m paranoid cray like that. LOL!

    But I hear you. When I don’t have sweets in my house, I don’t think about them or want them and I am not someone who leave the house to go buy some sweets. However, if they ARE in the house that is all I can think about: eating the sweets. Everybody is different in what their triggers are and you are still working through how to deal with yours (as am I) so if throwing it in the trash was what worked for you last night, good for you for being able to do it after just a few bites.

    • Anonymous

      LOL! My friend said the same thing… my neighbor is cool though.

  • http://twitter.com/BhamJen Jennifer Dome

    The idea of bringing it to work is a good one…but that means it’s still there in your house, tempting you all night. I hate to say it, but when I’ve got food like that around me, it’s nearly impossible to resist. And that makes me mad! I want my willpower to be stronger. I have to remind myself that fitting into the great clothes I have in my closet is way more fun than eating four slices of pizza or a huge slice of cake. I struggle with this all the time, so I feel you. But good for you for throwing it out! I don’t always have the willpower for that…I’m glad you did!

    • Anonymous

      “I want my willpower to be stronger.” <—- MEEE TOOOOO!!!!!

  • :p_ouch

    you know what, you are truly inspiring! the last time i checked your blog, i hit the gym the day after! today i return from the gym and here i read you THREW AWAY A JAR OF CAKE!!!
    I bought two gorgeous pair of jeans, a size smaller than my actual size in fact, so that i can be motivated! i really hope it works :s

    • Anonymous

      Awwww wow! I have a “size too small” pair of jeans in my closet too– hopefully we’ll both be wearing them soon ;-)

      xoxo

  • Donna Skelton

    Hi! Just found your blog yesterday after Googling to find out why slips (yes, for under dresses) seem so difficult to find these days! So I tuned into your blog post from a couple years ago about Shapewear.
    I started my life changing eating/exercising last August. So far down about 50 pounds and at least 10% of total body fat. I totally agree that every PSP (love the term btw!) has a different road (as does every human) in terms of how we eat, exercise, and look after our health. I would have been fine with having a small portion with a glass of milk, and putting the rest in the fridge. But I’m happier with a slow drop in weight because I’m on this eating/exercise plan for life, and I have to do it my way. You of course need to do what works for you.

    Many thanks for your blog! It’s also great to see a woman with good self-esteem writing about the issues that face us big girls.

    • Anonymous

      LOL @ finding slips… I wear them with my more full skirts (as you probably read) but yes, they’re almost like a vintage accessory! I find them easily at stores like Kmart/Walmart though. And in catalogs that cater to older PSP’s (i.e. Roamans).

      Anyway, 50 pounds… congrats that’s a BIG DEAL! I want to get to the point where a little cake and milk is a possibility for me, but this week I needed to make a cold turkey decision.

      Thanks for reading & sticking around!!! xoxo

  • Karen

    I deal with it by only going food shopping once a week so that I only have to have self-control once. I live in the middle of nowhere so I would have to take a shower and drive for half an hour just to buy tempting stuff. I get my husband to put all of his fattening junk food on a high shelf so that I have to go out to his shop and get a step ladder to steal it. That image is so ridiculous and sad that I can always resist. It’s a lot easier when you’re working at home and don’t have to make food decisions all day long.

  • http://twitter.com/MissHollywoodz Brittany King

    At first, I didn’t want to contribute to the debate of the your decision in the post but as a PSP currently near recovery from an eating disorder, I felt it was necessary to share. Sometimes drastic measures need to be taken. I have done exactly the same thing as Cece: threw away food to prevent myself from eating insanely. Learning to recognize my triggers has helped me lose 40lbs and gain a bit of sanity. It’s not always about having willpower but the emotions and numerous other things (mindgames) that are related to/ intertwined with the eating.

    • Anonymous

      Yes. YES. YES!!!

  • Kestrel_127

    Once a year, we celebrate ‘medical laboratory week’ by getting huge amounts of food delivered to us from our vendors.
    This is the second time I’ve literally TAKEN THE WHOLE week off from work to avoid the temptation of limitless pasta and break sticks and cakes and cookies and Mexican food and mile long sub sandwiches.
    Because honestly? I work in a hospital and I only eat what I bring in, and at least once my lunch box is empty, I’m done. Because a week of free food would kill me. =P

  • Amanda Berrios

    You..are my hero…I have no will power!!

  • Tille

    This Blog is so on point!!!! I totally understand your point of view– I come from a large ethnic family-there is always a celebration with lots of food, plus I have 2 small kids..so there is ALWAYS some type of temptation..I have learned to disperse the food-give it way or save it for myself for a treat in the future. I usually allot myself “cheat meals” several times a week so I never feel deprived-but I due pay homage at the gym..lol. I love strength training, and that allows me to burn a little more… So far I have lost almost 60 pounds-From a dress size 18 going on to a size 10 on my 5″11 frame–You are doing such a AWESOME job-Truly Amazing!!! ((hugs))

    • Anonymous

      WOW! That’s some hard work miss! I’m sure you look/feel fantastic! xoxo

  • http://twitter.com/goldeelocks1908 Goldeelocks

    Doing well. Don’t fret… With “Aunt Flo” in town… your water weight is probably insane. After “she” leaves, I’m sure you’ll be pleased with what the number reads on your scale. Good Luck! ;-)

  • ajay rana

    Thats a beautyifull pic really i like that pic.

    forex robot

  • Belatedbloomer

    I was reading this as I forked a piece of chocolate cake into my mouth. My sister’s boyfriend gifted my mom with a huge cake for Mother’s Day and the lucky (or unlucky) sister is eating it her second slice right now. Now I have to pack the cake back into the box and bring it far, far away from me.

    I have lost over 70 pounds and gained back the 30 after two years. But I maintained the 40-pound loss for about 6 years now. And should I wish to maintain it for longer than those 6 years, I would have to get rid of this half-eaten cake too.

    http://thebelatedbloomer.blogspot.com

  • Anonymous

    I am a

  • carol

    I absolutely hear you on this one! I have actually just had to go cold turkey on sugar so that when I am offered some I just tell people ‘oh thanks so much but I cant eat sugar’….I dont give any further explanation because really I am constantly bombarded with the stuff! Either it is someone’s birthday at work and they bring in croissants, or the vending machine junk is about to expire so they give it away for free, or I go for coffee and get a chocolate on the side, or someone calls to the house and brings cake to be polite…It’s endless. In todays world we are so blessed (cursed?) with the sheer quantity and availability of food that at times we have to take what seems like drastic action – like throwing perfectly good cake in the trash – when really it is necessary action to maintain our health. When I throw food away like this I just tell myself ‘pretend you ate it, either way it’s gone’ to take away the guilt of throwing out good food. That was a really good move throwing out the cake. There will always be cake. You can get it another time if you really want it. And not a jar full!! Well done!!!

  • Anonymous

    hi my name is heather i have found it really hard to lose weight. i have retained the same weight for a year now. now i find out i’m pregnant so i don’t know how i can lose weight without hurting the baby

    • Anonymous

      Talk to your doctor, they can advise you better than we can. Congrats on your pregnancy! xoxo

      • Heather Love

        Well i lost the baby 2 weeks ago. I got the iud so i can concentrate on me. In the last week i have lost 4 lbs. I feel pretty good about it but the way i have lost it don’t seem too healthy to me. I would like to start working on my problem areas like my arms, inner thighs, stomach and my fat pooch.

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