Somebody “Pooted” in Zumba Class


Somebody “pooted” in Zumba class on Saturday… and let me start by saying it was not me.

About halfway through the hour long class, we were doing choreography where we turned in a circle with one leg in the air. I made my turn and by the time I was facing the mirrors again, I wanted to gag.

Something you should know about me is that I’m a bit prissy when it comes to bodily functions. A lot of my friends have the “everybody does it” mentality when it comes to matters of the tummy, I do not. When Robert tries to talk about poop or farting, I just look at him with doe eyes and say “I don’t do that, sorry” he just laughs and rolls his eyes.

Sometimes I wonder if I’d have an easier time with “tummy talk” if I were skinny. I mean, when Cameron Diaz burps and farts, somehow its cute. On the other hand how many movies and TV shows have we seen where fat people fart… and fart… and fart? How many times is that the punchline for fat-suit humor? Its referenced so much that I think people assume its true.

When I was a chubby little PSP, I remember being in a group on the floor with my classmates. Out of nowhere someone cried out “ew, CeCe!” I had no idea what they were blaming me for– until a foul odor permeated our area. Someone had pooted and again, it was not me. But somehow when the smell hit the air, it was my name that the kids called.

Last year, I was a counselor for a church youth trip. On the charter bus as the kids were drifting off to sleep, I went to adjust my seat but the latch was broken. It sent the back of my seat flying into the lap of one of the girls and I said “oh excuse me!”, what I didn’t realize is that in the silence of the drowsy bus the seat also made a “farting noise”. So me saying “oh excuse me!” sent the teens into a fit of laughter. I, of course, was mortified.

As a Plus Size Princess, when someone farts anonymously, I get anxious that everyone assumes it was me. (Does anyone else feel this way? or am I just too prissy for my own sanity?)

Anyway, back to the “Zumba Poot”. Long after the smell was gone, I found that my annoyance was still hanging in the air. The class was packed and I was towards the back, so it could have been anyone but as I continued dancing, my annoyance just didn’t go away. Maybe it was the blood flowing to my brain from Zumba that made me so clear headed about the whole thing… I knew I didn’t poot and that’s all that mattered.

Living in NYC, I’m learning that people love to fart in a crowd. Zumba class… a crowded subway train… in line at the grocery store. Even though I feel like everyone looks at me, there’s nothing I can do about it.

I guess I could yell out “IT WASN’T ME!”, but that would just be weird.

  • Danielle Bowling

    I’m sure yelling “It wasn’t me” would just bring more attention towards you, ha ha. I don’t like to pass gas in public but I noticed in High School sports that when I was nervous my tummy would turn and would make me have to poot :-/ I don’t mind talking about the stuff just because yeah “every does it” but I actually hate going #2! EW! I think by the time you have children and clean up their “mess” you’ll be more comfortable with it ;)

    • Anonymous

      LOL! Very true… oddly enough, I don’t mind it from kids or really old people. They can’t help it haha

  • Vanessa

    I absolutely love your blog, but must say that in this instance you are being a ‘bit prissy’. When it comes to ‘pooting’ it’s a natural body function that as much as any of us try to deny it, happens to everyone. As for the person doing the actual ‘pooting’ in your class, most likely it was involuntary when they did the round-about turn thing too, and they were just as embarrassed for doing it, as you would’ve been. It’s not pleasant, but can’t always be avoided. My suggestion? Let poot gones, be poot gones.

    • Anonymous

      Ha! “Let poot gones, be poot gones”… I’ll do my best!

  • Mel

    Oh, too funny. There were probably 5 other people in the class who also wanted to shout, “It wasn’t me!” I can see where you might be touchy about it, though. It’s the fat person bias coming into play.
    Which is sad.

    Hopefully no one is careless about letting it happen. But sometimes there is lack of muscular control there for reasons that aren’t fixable (timidly raising hand here).

    • Anonymous

      HAHAHA… this is a no judgement zone and as people keep reminding me “everyone does it!” xoxo

  • Dena Upton

    Haha! I am e girl that is embarrassed by Pooting even though it is never me in public haha. I will not in public. I will make a special trip to the bathroom if I just flat out have to haha, so I feel you. I see what everyone else is saying about if it was an accident, but if that person just bust it out because they knew it would be silent and no one would know it was them I’d be annoyed too haha.

    • Anonymous

      LOL… you always have my back! Glad you understand hahahaha

  • Sara E. Brenton

    Girl, I feel you in the “It wasn’t me” sentiment… I am losing weight (down 99lbs! oh yeah!) but the diet I’m on (not a diet per se, just really healthy eating, lots of vegetables!), combined with long-standing intestional issues, is not helping the gas situation. I’m the type of girl who owns it (any of my friends will tell you that if I “let one fly”—even a silent one— that I am apt to shout out “God Bless America”-possibly to protect the country from what may come out, lol). I’m not ashamed of it, and my friends are used to it. But, because of my attitude and personality surrounding this, I never get blamed for SBD’s when I’m around—everyone knows “God Bless America” is me owning my gas output! :) You’re not being prissy, just being you! :)

    • Anonymous

      NINETY-NINE POUNDS?! Shut UP!!! I’m so proud of you… Omg. *cartwheel*

    • Vanessa

      Congrats Sara! That’s such an awesome, outstanding accomplishment! Way to go!

  • Bethany Thomas

    Ha! You’re maybe being too prissy – it does make life a lot easier not caring. But, if you can’t help it, you can’t! I wouldn’t worry about people thinking it’s you. What would you do if you realized someone pooted and were embarrassed? You certainly wouldn’t shame them for it, and no one worth your time would think badly of you for an accidental gas-pass. Better to just not care, let your worries blow away in the wind as it were.

  • Lostplum

    I don’t do that either!

    • Anonymous

      AHHHH… I knew we were kindred spirits! YES!

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  • Zoey Blue

    I’m exactly like you! Everytime someone farts anonymously or there’s a noise like a fart I feel like every single pair of eyes are on me!

  • Eve

    I’ve never heard the term ‘pooting’ before! It sounds so funny!
    My mum does this yoga class in the evenings sometimes and she leaves right after dinner. She goes with a few of her friends and they always have dinner AFTER they go to yoga. Apparently, it’s not uncommon to let one loose accidentally. And everyone accepts it because they’ve all done it once and when you’re trying to get your body in those weird positions you can’t help it.
    Suffice to say, I have never taken my mother up on her invitiation to join her, lol!

  • PJ

    Does anyone know of a plus size zumba class in NYC?

  • Mr. Shake

    I’m still thinkin’ it was you in most, if not all, of those instances.

    You know…”…me think thou dost…” and all.