Bad First Dates: Junior

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“Hey… listen– I’m going to be late. I can’t find my debit card! I’m driving to the gas station now to see if I left it there!”

I held the phone away from my ear as Junior rambled on and on about getting to my Manhattan neighborhood from Brooklyn, where he lived. Junior was a guy I’d met online and after a few phone conversations, he asked if he could take me out. I agreed. “I’ll pick you up Saturday at 8 and then I’m going to take you wherever you want to go,” Junior had said.

Now, it was Saturday at 9:15 and I was about ready to wash my face and go to bed. But Junior insisted that he was parking one block from the central meeting location I’d arranged. He also explained that if he hadn’t had to take time to look for his debit card, he would have been on time. At 9:30, Junior was full of apologies and compliments. “I’m sorry sweetie, man you look beautiful” he said. “It’s still early though… what would you like to do?”

“Well, there’s a new lounge a few blocks from here, we could grab a drink?”

“Sure, sweetie, let’s go!”

We got to the lounge and a doorman asked to see our ID cards. I pulled mine out and as I was preparing to step into the lounge, Junior touched my arm. “I left my ID in the car, let me go get it, my bad.” I let out a deep sigh and waited on the corner while he grabbed his ID. He jogged back to me “Sorry about that,” he said. I took a step towards the lounge and he stopped me again.

“You know– I’m only 20, right?”

I blinked. I had just turned 22, so two years wasn’t a big deal but– “What were you getting your ID for then?!” I blurted out incredulously. “You knew we weren’t getting in– that doesn’t make any sense.”

“I dunno sweetie, I just–”

“aaaand you told me we could go ‘anywhere’. You knew you couldn’t get into a club so why not just pick a restaurant or something? Why act like we could go ANYWHERE when we obviously can’t!” Clearly, I was tired and hungry because I had no filter whatsoever. “Look, it was nice to meet you, but this isn’t going to work.” I turned on my heel and headed back towards my apartment. Junior ran after me.

“Wait, CeCe… come on– I’m sorry I don’t know what’s wrong with me– why don’t we just grab some food here at that restaurant across the street. I came all the way from Brooklyn and I’d really like to spend some time with you. Please.”

I should have left him on the street, but I guess being almost two hours late, being under age and being deceptive wasn’t enough for me to cut ties (*eye roll* at myself). “Fine, we can grab a bite,” I said following him to the restaurant.

When we got inside, they were already busing the tables and closing for the night. A young waitress with a lime green hair net told us that we could order something to go. “You know– I’m not real hungry,” Junior said “lets just order what you want and I’ll pick off your food.” I wanted to say I don’t know you like that, but I was too exhausted to argue. We ordered chicken and two sides that we would take home and eat in my kitchen while we chatted. “Your food will be ready in a few minutes” the waitress said.

I turned towards the door, “I’m going to wait outside,” I said.

“Okay, you gonna give me the money?”

“Excuse me?”

“I told you I lost my debit card… Its Saturday and the banks are closed… I don’t have any money,” he said reaching his hand out for me to hand over some cash.

At that moment, the waitress came through the kitchen doors with our bag of food. “That’ll be $12.95″ she said looking our way. I motioned to him “You can deal with that,” I said, then I pushed open the door and booked it to my apartment, looking over my shoulder the whole way home.

I think that may have been my worst first date ever….

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  • Mari

    OMG! So many memories! hahaha

    That happened with me, but in another scale… The guy was dumb enough to ask for stuff while still on the phone. Lol

    So, let me tell ya. haha

    I met this guy in a store where he worked. It was one of the first times i got chatted up like that, so I liked the attention and stuff. We flirted on the store and after a while he asked me to meet him on the “clearance bin downstairs” (oh so romantic) to exchange numbers. I was going out of town for a week, so we spent the whole week texting.

    When I got back he asked me out on a date, he said he was going to pick me up near my place. So i got all ready and then like 15 minutes before the arranged time he texted me saying his mom was sick and he needed to take her to the hospital. I was very comprehensive, of course.

    A couple of days later he asked me out again, for that same night. I was kinda annoyed by it, but i thought “why not?”.

    When I was leaving my place he texted and said he lost his wallet so he would take a bit longer (ring any bell? lol). Half an hour passed by and then he texted me again and said “i won’t be able to park there, can you go to the liquor store down the corner and buy a bottle of *some liquor i can’t remember the name*?” I thought he sent the message for the wrong person, so i went “huh?” and then he called.

    Conversation was like that:
    HIM: hey what’s up? I’m arriving there, so there’s this hotel a couple of blocks where you are, can you go meet me there, it’s easier.
    ME: oh sure, but there’s no hotel nowhere near me (i lived on e 86th at the time).
    HIM: No, it’s like a “hotel”, we can go and feel comfortable there. Bring the drinks and we meet there. The room is cheap around 30 dollars.
    ME: …
    HIM: Oh and remember I lost my wallet, so you’ll have to pay it. See ya in 10?
    ME: Yeah, sure! Do you want anything else?
    HIM: No, that’s all. Oh i want to f*** you so bad…
    ME: Ok. See ya soon then!

    Of course i went back home and never answered him anymore. And spent like half a year crossing to the other side of the street when i passed his store. hahaha

    Now it’s funny, but I was so angry at him and the whole situation for some time.

  • http://www.thebiggirlblog.com TheBigGirlBlog

    @Mari- OMG it sounds like you found Juniors cousin or something! LOL… asking you to a hotel?! Sooooo rude… augh!!

    xoxo

  • Dena

    Worst first date ever… Here we go.

    I met a guy at church my sophomore year of college, and after several weeks he finally worked up the nerve to ask me out. He was very nervous because he had never been on a date before, so we decided to do a group dinner with two of our friends and then go to the movies alone. Well, that weekend I had a girls camping trip, and our date was the day I go back. I was exhausted, so I told him nothing too late.

    He was like no problem. He got us a “reservation” for dinner at CHILES…. You dnt need a reservation for Chiles. I get there with my girlfriend that I went camping with and he comes with our guy friend. Then these two other girls show up. They are there to eat with us, and I have no idea who they are. OHHHH, they are two of his six sisters. He brought two of his sisters to question me on our FIRST date. Are you kidding me? At this point I am ready to go home, but I suck it up.

    We eat dinner at 7. I spend the whole dinner talking to his sisters… Not him. We finish at 8, and I had already told my friend she was going to the movies with us even though that wasn’t the plan. After that dinner, I was not going to be left alone with him.

    He pre bought our movie tickets, and he is like oh I got the 10:30 show. Are you kidding me? How long did he think dinner would take. So we have to waste time. So we go to a coffee shop that has live music in between. His siters and our guy friend left thinking it was time for us to be alone, but I was done with him at this point, so my friend came with us to the coffee shop. It was very crowded so he stood behind me and breathed on me for an hour while I talked to my friend.

    At this point I REaLLY want to go home, but I’m like I just have to make it through the movie. So we get to the movies, and he asked me what I wanted to see earlier that day. I told him this action movie that was out. Turns out he bought tickets for the chick flick instead… Idk what about me telling him to get tickets to the action movie I wanted to see said chick flick. We get inside and I told him nothing too late for a reason. My friend and I fell asleep on each other during most of the movie.

    It ends, and he walks us to her car. I knew he was expecting a kiss, and I wasn’t giving him one. So I proceeded to open my car door between us, said goodnight really fast, and we left haha. He thought the date went great. I let him down easy the next day haha.

    Terribly awkward first date.

  • Sandy

    Hi Cece,

    I accidentally stumbled on your blog and I should say; I fell in love with your posts. You are such an awesome writer and I love your humor and writing style. I got to know your blog only 5 days before and I have read all of your posts starting from Feb 2008 till now. I hope you and Robert are going steady and good luck to you in future.
    A small introduction about me. I am called as Sandy and I am residing in India. I am married for past 4 years to the man of my dreams. He is such a wonderful person and I consider myself very much lucky to have him. He is like the Mark darcy in the Bridget jones novel.
    I had PCOS before and still enjoying a few minor symptoms. As per the doctors, I am obese. I have gone through two miscarriages and Doctor pinned it to my extra weight. I am size 12 and that is considered plus size in India. If olypics comittee decides adds weight loss marathon as a category, I will qualify for a gold. I have a record in starting a program and leaving it 1/4th way. Last month, I started making healthy life style change and I lost 11 pounds. But then three days back, I am back to my stress eating ways due to some stress in work. I am frustrated with my lifestyle, weight and I dont want to be like this. I dont want to be intimidated by food. I want to take in a small piece of chocolate and enjoy it rather than obsessing over the negative things in chocolate and fearing how that small piece of chocolate controls my life and triggers binging. I have been reading many self help books and they dont seem to be suiting me. From now on, I am on my way to find answers to following questions for the next 21 days.

    1. Are fat people doomed to be fat for ever? Can we ever beat it for good and maintain it?
    2. Is there a way to look at weight loss without obsessing on weight? Like focussing on process than end result.
    3. I was a topper in my graduation and masters. Also, in work place I am considered a top performer. But I have the attitude of starting things in full zest and stop it half way. Can I become the real doer, the one finishes the things that have been started? I had been analysing and foud out, all my worries are pinned in my weight. To come out of the worries, I escape from reality by reading Archies (please dont judge) and eating all the junk crap food. When I am done, I am super depressed and dont want to concentrate on anything productive and wither my time away. One step in right lifestyle will make immense difference here.
    4. What is to be done to have firely desire in achieving success?

    Every day, I will record my improvements, setbacks and observations. When I am completely transformed, I am plannign to write a book on my adventures and lessons learnt. I am doing this for me and also for all other PSPs and PCOSers.

    Phew, it is a very long comment and thanks for your time in reading it. If I could some of my research obesevations to you, will you be interested in publishing under curvy conversations?

    Once again, thanks for running such an awesome blog. Merry christmas to you!!

    • smiles

      Hi Sandy,
      I think fat people or plus size people shouldn’t worry about getting skinny; they should worry about being healthy. I was 230 + pds and 5ft 9 and really healthy. My blood tests and physical fitness tests were all very good and I worked out at the gym 5 days a week, an hour each day. I was still plus size – but I was healthy. It’s hard living overseas – as in not America. Many doctors/ people judge you by your size and blame any kind of sickness on your weight instead properly treating you. Continue doing your best and appreciate yourself for trying! Keep fighting – you are making progress ! Just remember it’s not about being skinny ; it’s about being healthy.

      • http://twitter.com/thebiggirlblog The Big Girl Blog

        Good response Smiles… couldnt have said it better myself!

  • Stacey

    What. The. Heck. I don’t even… I just don’t.

    I don’t recall having such a bad 1st date, but there was this one time I was on a dating website and this guy messaged me randomly. In his pictures he looked really cute and pretty tall, his profile said he was 6’1″. We chatted and eventually agreed to meet up.

    He showed up at my door and I could look him straight in the eyes, so he was EXACTLY my height, 5’7″, NOT 6’1″. His outfit was dirty, he was skinny like a skeleton which in his pictures he wasn’t, he looked pretty muscular, actually. I wanted to slam the door shut in his face but I’m too nice for that so I went out with him, it was the most boring date ever, there conversations were going no where, then he took my hand in the car on our way back to my place. I told him I didn’t think it was going to work and he tried to kiss me, saying “But you haven’t even tried kissing me” as if that would change my mind on anything. Dumbass. LOL

  • LC

    That was pretty terrible! My worst first “date” was with this guy I met online. He texted me saying he was going to be in my area that night so we decided to meet up. Since I met him online…I suggested we meet at a busy McDonalds by my house. We talked on the phone while I walked to our meeting spot. He said (I thought he was joking) that I’d be able to see him because he was standing on his car. As I got closer to the meeting spot I saw that he was LITERALLY standing on top of his car…in the middle of a parking lot…with tons of people around. I calmly said on the phone, “Please, please get down.” Once we got face to face…I knew I was in for a BAD time. I did notice that his mouth was closed in all of his pictures online so when I saw his teeth in person…I WAS HORRIFIED! His teeth were chopped and screwed! Gross! He was also shorter than what I thought he’d be. I was so let down! He proceeded to get chinese food but I was too upset to eat..plus I wanted to get the hell out of there! We sat and talked in his car for a bit…I couldn’t even look him in the eye. I just looked at my feet! I quickly said “I gotta go home”…I got ready to jump out of the car and he says “WAIT!” and then gives me this puppy dog look and I knew he wanted a kiss or something. I definitely couldn’t do that so I gave him a half-assed hug and bounced! I am still scarred!

    • smiles

      OH MY GOSH – that’s SO SAD !! ( but funny)

  • Piper

    CeCe, I’m a little confused. I thought you were dating Robert. But nonetheless, I’m glad that you kicked this guy to the curb. He sounded like a real loser!

    • TheBigGirlBlog

      @ Piper: I am still dating Robert… This is a story from a long time ago :-)

  • Jasmine Stanley

    Oh, CeCe! Girl, this post had me dying!

  • token aussie

    Hi,
    this is the first time i have ever posted but i read your story and thought hmm my story is sort of similar!
    So i met this guy online, and we had been texting for a while like a month (i had just had an operation so couldn’t go and do anything for this whole time!) we met up last saturday had the cutest date and we kissed and everything and silly me i let my guard down and decided i sort of liked this guy (who was a total babe by the way!). after the date i got the follow up message thank god i was freaking out! then since then he hasn’t really texted me at all so i called him, on about tuesday, he didn’t answer but called me back later saying that he had hurt his back really bad and was on strong pain killers blah blah – since then (its now one week since our date) i haven’t really heard from him. I just cant understand why guys play girls – if i don’t like a guy they pretty much know it! Like why bother kissing me on the date? why bother asking twice when he is going to see me next!
    I am a 6ft tall blonde plus sized extremely athletic looking girl and if i do say so myself im pretty hot even though i have big swimmers shoulders!
    Why after every date i go on i think the reason the guy hasn’t called or has gone cold on me is because of my looks?? Any advice to go from thinking omg i must be too fat, too big, too ugly for him to like me and move onto thinking he is just a dooche and out there there is a serious babe waiting to look good on my arm? I know the second thought is what i should be thinking but i still find myself feeling the first!
    Advice from fellow plus sized babes?
    x