Plus Size Problems: Thigh Swoosh (Chub Rub Strikes Again)

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Yesterday I was having a “cute day”.

I wore a frilly white blouse, tucked into a grey pleated skirt with a burgundy belt and my favorite suede heels pulling it all together. I also wore a pair of fishnet stockings which created the perfect flirty secretary style outfit.

At around 9:30, Robert called my extension, “I want to show you something, can you come by my desk?”

“Sure,” I said. I reapplied my lip gloss, ran my fingers through my hair and stood up from my desk. Dating a guy that works in my office makes having a “cute day” even more fun. As I made my way to his department on the other side of the building, I had a little pep in my step.

My heels click-click-clicked on the granite floors.

But between each click there was another noise… a SWOOSH.

click-SWOOSH-click-SWOOSH.

I stood still to stop the SWOOSH from echoing down the hallway.

I took a few more steps, slowly but the noise was just drawn out click-SWOOOOOOSH-click. My full thighs were betraying me once again with dreaded Chub-Rub!

I thought I had experienced all the Chub-Rub I could handle with my torn jeans and chaffed skin, but apparently, there’s more.  Outside in noisy New York City, the noise my thighs were made as they rubbed against each other was masked. But in the quiet halls of my office, the lycra in my tights was announcing my arrival by SWOOSHING loud enough to be heard before I even turned the corner to Roberts desk!

Normally, I would just turn the tights inside out like I do with my spanx, but with fishnets it doesn’t make a difference.

For the rest of the day I tried not to walk around too much, not to mention I had to cancel all of my secret ninja surprise attacks for the day (thanks Lori on fb for reminding me). Thigh Swoosh killed my swag a tiny bit, but once I got out of the quiet office, it wasn’t an issue anymore and I went back to having a “cute day”… Plus Size Problems!

Has this ever happened to you?

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  • Robyn

    That is the worst! I hate when that happens! I’ve had a few cute days where that can just ruin it.

  • Elle

    Oh My God. No, the worst ever is when you are bare thighed and you sit down real fast and your thighs clap together! That’s happened to me in quiet rooms before. I’d rather deal with swoosh then clap!

  • http://www.unscriptedmusings.com Monique

    It has and it made me want to run for the hills. I hate that sound!

  • Stephanie

    This happens to me too! Especially with jeans! I hate it when I’m at school working in the computer labs where its very quiet and need to get up to go to the bathroom and the sound of my thighs rubbing together breaks the silence in the room.

    Or even more embarrassing one time our class was getting a tutorial on how to use the sound foley room (a room where you can record sounds to put in your film) and one of my classmates chose me as the “foley artist” (which is the person who is in the recording portion of the room creating all the sounds). Well, that day we were supposed to wear “quiet” clothing (no baggy jeans). I had on some stretch “skinny” jeans and he wanted me to make some noises on the artificial grass in the room to create the sound of walking. I’m sure everyone on the other side of the booth could hear the swoosh swoosh of my legs rubbing together in this jean material. After a couple tries he told me to try just using my hands in the artificial grass instead.

  • Lee

    Check out Luvees, thigh swoosh in dresses will be over-I have a pair and they work!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_LN5K5NCAY7353S4OJSWPUWFZHM Victoria J

    I have had this problem mostly in my athletic gear. The good ol’ Swishie pants? It gets louder as u run too. Needless to say I do not rock the swishies anymore.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1623367180 Cinda Malynn

    Yes! When ever i wear my favorite corduroy pants during the holidays with every step i take, it swooshes! It’s very irritating, and i curse my chubby thighs every holiday season.

  • http://twitter.com/ReneeHarwood Renee Harwood

    I FOUND A SOLUTION!!!! Check out the website I ran across called Thighslides.com. We finally have another option other then those bike shorts. They are incredible.
    All I can say is bring on the Summer heat I will be ready for it.

  • Tickled

    I hate when that happens… I wonder if there’s a trick to making that swooshing noise stop! I’m a big beautiful woman and that noise just makes me feel like “look at me here comes the fat girl”! A friend told me to put baby powder between my legs before i put the pantyhose on. We’ll see if it works. I have an event to go to on Friday and i’m dreading having to wear pantyhose.

  • Kikikins

    Hi! I know this is old but…. I’m having a cute day today with my new skinny jeans.Cute, cute, cute…. But noOOOoooOoOooo!!!! Walking down to the copier today there it was!!! SWOOSHING!!!!!

  • CarrieRae

    Celebrate the Swoosh in Undersummers Shortlettes: comfortable, panty shorts made to wear under dresses with a stay put anti-chafe leg:) http://www.undersummers.com

  • I cant…

    I know this post is completely old, but I just had to comment. I googled ‘I despise the sound of my thighs rubbing together’ I am wearing sorta loose pants and I am in the library walking past this cutie and I did not want to go to the bathroom for the reason of the Swoosh, but could not hold it any longer. So I grabbed some paper and started rattling it to distract from the thigh noise. Or I will move my arms to confuse the person, so they do not know where the sound is coming from! So horribly frustrating!