“CeCe’s dating a really great guy,” my friend Rebecca gushed to her coworkers.
It was “Thirsty Thursday” and I’d met Rebecca and her “PR girl” coworkers for a few martini’s and tapas in midtown. Put five girls in their 20′s together with a few drinks and inevitably the conversation will turn to… boys. My friends coworkers had all been complaining about the idiots they were dating and making ominous statements like “there are no good straight men in New York City!”
Rebecca’s statement was meant to prove that there were still great guys left in the city. Her coworkers followed up with a line of questioning on exactly how/where/when we met, how long we’d been dating etc.
I answered all of their questions and tried to change the subject to other things, but one girl in particular kept pressing me about Robert. Something about the way she was asking questions made me feel like she was trying to challenge me in some way. It was almost as if she was shocked that I (a Plus Size Princess) was dating someone and she (a no-carb, fat-free, skinny-minnie PR girl) was not.
I love talking about Robert and how he makes me happy, but this felt different. Rebecca continued to gush about Robert and me “Oh my God, you should have seen them at her best friend’s wedding this summer– they were the cutest couple on the dance floor…”
I smiled and tried again to change the subject, “I dated a lot of guys before I met him though– have you girls ever tried online dating?” We spoke about dating websites for a while and I thought I was off the hook, but Rebecca’s coworker wasn’t finished.
“Do you have any photos of your boyfriend?” she asked.
“Um, sure…” I said pulling out my phone. As I scrolled through my phone and found my favorite photo of Robert and me. In it, I am smiling at the camera and Robert is looking at me with a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye. Turning my phone screen to her, I had a feeling that the low-fat skinny-minnie was going to “sh*t bricks” as Rebecca likes to say and that’s exactly what she did.
“Oh My God, he’s HOT!” she exclaimed taking the phone from my hands and staring at it for a few seconds before showing the other girls who gave genuine “awww’s”. She handed the phone back to me. “Wow, good for you…” before taking a long sip of her drink.
“Thanks,” I replied. I wanted to yell “WINNING!”, but I figured that would be too much.
Here’s the thing, according to society’s standards big girls aren’t supposed to have hot boyfriends. But somehow I ended up with a really attractive guy. In the beginning I would worry about people thinking “what is he doing with her” when they saw us. But to my surprise guys (and homeless men) stop Robert all the time to tell him that he’s a lucky guy.
Sadly, women aren’t always so kind. I’ve had girls try to flirt with Robert in front of my face and it used to really do a number on my self-esteem.
All of that changed a few months ago when Robert and I went to karaoke with some friends. Robert scrolled through the song catalog and found Don’t You Wish Your Girlfriend was Hot like Me by The Pussycat Dolls. “I want you to sing this for me,” he said with his boyish grin. When my turn came to sing, he cheered me on while I danced and strutted around the bar… the whole bar went nuts cheering me on and Robert loved it! In that moment I realized yes, I’m dating a hot guy… and he thinks I’m hot too. Outside of that, nothing really matters.
Have any of you ever dated a hot guy? Did it make you insecure?