Can a Big Girl Date a Hot Guy?

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“CeCe’s dating a really great guy,” my friend Rebecca gushed to her coworkers.

It was “Thirsty Thursday” and I’d met Rebecca and her “PR girl” coworkers for a few martini’s and tapas in midtown. Put five girls in their 20′s together with a few drinks and inevitably the conversation will turn to… boys. My friends coworkers had all been complaining about the idiots they were dating and making ominous statements like “there are no good straight men in New York City!”

Rebecca’s statement was meant to prove that there were still great guys left in the city. Her coworkers followed up with a line of questioning on exactly how/where/when we met, how long we’d been dating etc.

I answered all of their questions and tried to change the subject to other things, but one girl in particular kept pressing me about Robert. Something about the way she was asking questions made me feel like she was trying to challenge me in some way. It was almost as if she was shocked that I (a Plus Size Princess) was dating someone and she (a no-carb, fat-free, skinny-minnie PR girl) was not.

I love talking about Robert and how he makes me happy, but this felt different. Rebecca continued to gush about Robert and me “Oh my God, you should have seen them at her best friend’s wedding this summer– they were the cutest couple on the dance floor…”

I smiled and tried again to change the subject, “I dated a lot of guys before I met him though– have you girls ever tried  online dating?” We spoke about dating websites for a while and I thought I was off the hook, but Rebecca’s coworker wasn’t finished.

“Do you have any photos of your boyfriend?” she asked.

“Um, sure…” I said pulling out my phone. As I scrolled through my phone and found my favorite photo of Robert and me. In it, I am smiling at the camera and Robert is looking at me with a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye. Turning my phone screen to her, I had a feeling that the low-fat skinny-minnie was going to “sh*t bricks” as Rebecca likes to say and that’s exactly what she did.

“Oh My God, he’s HOT!” she exclaimed taking the phone from my hands and staring at it for a few seconds before showing the other girls who gave genuine “awww’s”. She handed the phone back to me. “Wow, good for you…” before taking a long sip of her drink.

“Thanks,” I replied. I wanted to yell “WINNING!”, but I figured that would be too much.

Here’s the thing, according to society’s standards big girls aren’t supposed to have hot boyfriends. But somehow I ended up with a really attractive guy. In the beginning I would worry about people thinking “what is he doing with her” when they saw us. But to my surprise guys (and homeless men) stop Robert all the time to tell him that he’s a lucky guy.

Sadly, women aren’t always so kind. I’ve had girls try to flirt with Robert in front of my face and it used to really do a number on my self-esteem.

All of that changed a few months ago when Robert and I went to karaoke with some friends. Robert scrolled through the song catalog and found  Don’t You Wish Your Girlfriend was Hot like Me by The Pussycat Dolls. “I want you to sing this for me,” he said with his boyish grin. When my turn came to sing,  he cheered me on while I danced and strutted around the bar… the whole bar went nuts cheering me on and Robert loved it! In that moment I realized yes, I’m dating a hot guy… and he thinks I’m hot too. Outside of that, nothing really matters.

Have any of you ever dated a hot guy? Did it make you insecure?

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Date Night in Kmart’s LYS Plus Size Collection

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Its been unusually warm in the city, so after dinner in the West Village, Robert and I decided to take advantage of the nice weather and walk around for a bit before heading home. As we turned the corner on Sullivan street I noticed a homeless man sitting on the ground jingling his cup of change. As we approached, the homeless man took one look at me and yelled “Oh My God, its BEYONCE… can I have your autograph?!”

I burst into giggles and Robert put $3 in his cup, “I like that,” he said slipping his arm around my waist.

Below is the outfit that earned me such a high compliment, it’s from the Kmart LYS collection. Have any of you checked out the clothes in Kmart’s Plus Size department lately?

If you haven’t, you need to do that ASAP. They have lots of dresses and tops that look like they belong in Macy’s but they’re priced for girls on a budget, like me!

The zipper on this dress is fully functional so you can adjust it to show as much or as little as you want. Then you can do your Beyonce dance!

Plus Size Fashion with Kmart!

 


Plus size tight
$9.99 - avenue.com

Tall boots
$50 - avenue.com

Steve madden handbag
$69 - stevemadden.com

Heart necklace
$20 - avenue.com

Stretch ring
$6.99 - avenue.com

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Plus Size Problems: Thigh Swoosh (Chub Rub Strikes Again)

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Yesterday I was having a “cute day”.

I wore a frilly white blouse, tucked into a grey pleated skirt with a burgundy belt and my favorite suede heels pulling it all together. I also wore a pair of fishnet stockings which created the perfect flirty secretary style outfit.

At around 9:30, Robert called my extension, “I want to show you something, can you come by my desk?”

“Sure,” I said. I reapplied my lip gloss, ran my fingers through my hair and stood up from my desk. Dating a guy that works in my office makes having a “cute day” even more fun. As I made my way to his department on the other side of the building, I had a little pep in my step.

My heels click-click-clicked on the granite floors.

But between each click there was another noise… a SWOOSH.

click-SWOOSH-click-SWOOSH.

I stood still to stop the SWOOSH from echoing down the hallway.

I took a few more steps, slowly but the noise was just drawn out click-SWOOOOOOSH-click. My full thighs were betraying me once again with dreaded Chub-Rub!

I thought I had experienced all the Chub-Rub I could handle with my torn jeans and chaffed skin, but apparently, there’s more.  Outside in noisy New York City, the noise my thighs were made as they rubbed against each other was masked. But in the quiet halls of my office, the lycra in my tights was announcing my arrival by SWOOSHING loud enough to be heard before I even turned the corner to Roberts desk!

Normally, I would just turn the tights inside out like I do with my spanx, but with fishnets it doesn’t make a difference.

For the rest of the day I tried not to walk around too much, not to mention I had to cancel all of my secret ninja surprise attacks for the day (thanks Lori on fb for reminding me). Thigh Swoosh killed my swag a tiny bit, but once I got out of the quiet office, it wasn’t an issue anymore and I went back to having a “cute day”… Plus Size Problems!

Has this ever happened to you?

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Are Fat People Expected to Die Unexpectedly?

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Remember when Amy Whinehouse died and we all assumed Overdose? I’m starting to realized that when overweight people die everyone assumes Fat.

Saturday afternoon, I took an intense boot camp class at my gym. The teacher was a kind of gruff woman with eight pack abs and tattoos on her stomach. She worked us really hard and by the end of the class we were drenched in sweat. The last 15 minutes of the class were dedicated to abs and stretching.

As we lay on our mats doing crunches in all sorts of crazy positions, she began to update the class on her search for online colleges, then she began to talk about current events.

“Can you believe Heavy D. died?” she said as she raised her knee to meet her elbow.

“I know… its crazy, he was only 44…” someone said from the back of the room.

“He was a big dude, but he was light on his feet,” the instructor continued.  “Anybody know how he died?”

A chorus of replies rand out from around the room.

“Pneumonia?”

“Diabetes?”

“I heard a heart attack!”

The instructor switched positions and we all followed suit. “Yeah, I heard it was a heart attack. What’s crazy is that he had just lost all that weight– it’s not fair!”

Another woman chimed in, “Yeah I’ve heard that sometimes people lose weight and THEN they die. It doesn’t make any sense!”

“That’s what happened to Big Pun, right?”

“Oh yeah!”

“Dying after you lose weight… so sad.”

Then a voice from the far corner of the room spoke out in a calm, but firm voice:

“Skinny people have heart attacks too!”

There was a long pause, then the instructor sat up and laughed “You know… you’re right. You’re right about that.”

Listening to the conversation swirling around me, there was a clear implication that overweight are expected to die unexpectedly and if/when that happens its more or less their fault. To my gym instructor and the women in the room, the early deaths of Heavy D. and Big Pun were sad, but those men dying after they’d lost weight was the biggest tragedy of all.

Of course we have it drilled into our minds that obesity puts you at a greater risk for diabetes, heart attack, stroke, etc. and yes that’s true, but does that mean that if two 44-year-old men die from a heart attack and one happens to be thin, we should feel more sympathy for the thin guy?

I have an acquaintance who is easily 400 pounds. He’s successful, makes lots of money but looking at him I worry. When we go for drinks, he can’t stand for very long, his arms swing precariously as he walks and his back arches to stabilize his large stomach. I am a big girl with a clean bill of health, I understand that the number on the scale doesn’t automatically mean that a person is healthy… or unhealthy. But even as I write this post I can’t help but wonder how I would react if (God forbid) something should happen to him. Would my first that be of his size? I hope not, but… I don’t know.

Every single article I’ve seen about Heavy D.’s death mentions that he weight 344 pounds, just like every article on Amy Whinehouse mentioned her battled with addiction. In both cases, I feel like that is the medias subtle way of saying “they had it coming” and I don’t think that’s fair.

Thoughts?

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Plus Size Active Wear from Just My Size

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Thanksgiving is just around the corner and I don’t know about you but this is not a holiday where I dress up, its a holiday that requires comfy clothes (maybe with a stretchy waist band!).

When it comes to active wear, my go-to brand is Just My Size. Their items are perfectly priced and awesome for when I want to “bum around”, but still look cute… I like to be a cute bum.

There aren’t any WalMart stores in NYC, but whenever I can get to one, I always stock up on leggings from Just My Size. I find that their leggings are great for working out. Luckily Rite-Aid carried Just My Size hosiery, so I stock up on tights there. The Just My Size tights are made long so I can pull them up until the waist band is underneath my boobs– this helps smooth my tummy and insures that the tights don’t roll down which is the worst feeling!

For Thanksgiving I will probably bum around in my sparkly velour set from JMS while I cook (I’m hosting this year!) and then when company comes over, I’ll probably rock a JMS cozy sweater and leggings. I always do a Thanksgiving workout either at the gym or in my neighborhood park, so either outfit will be good for that once I throw on a pair of sneakers.

JMS makes bumming around feel and look good, I love them for that!

Do you dress up for Thanksgiving?

Plus Size Lounge Wear from Just My Size

 


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Weight Loss: Good and Bad News….

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The Good News:

I’ve lost 25 pounds.

The Bad News:

I’ve lost 25 pounds.

When I started focusing more on weight loss earlier this year, I wanted to lose 60 pounds before 2012 came. Now its November 2011 and while I’ve lost 25 pounds and that’s awesome… I can’t help feeling like I’m failing to some degree.

I know that maintaining a loss is an accomplishment, but I think I need a jolt into weight loss mode again. Over the past 2 months I’ve seen the scale tip down to where I’d lost 30 pounds but it crept back up to 25. I don’t know if I’m not as serious, strict or if I need to change what I’m doing altogether but I’d really like to lose another 10-15 pounds before the end of the year.

A few days ago on twitter two of my favorite TBGB followers were tweeting me, thanking me for suggesting swimming to them and one of them has lost 50 pounds! I’m so proud of her and I know I can do it too… I guess just need to find something inside of me to push to the next level.

Yesterday I turned down a piece of red velvet cake… I guess that’s a start!

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