Tales of a Plus Size Bridesmaid: The Bachelor(ette) Party

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I woke up on Sunday morning with an intense feeling that I needed to talk to Robert, but I didn’t know why. My headache and queasiness let me know that the night before had been wild, but what about a “Bachelor(ette)” party for my gay best friend would I need to tell Robert about? I rolled out of bed and as I stood in my kitchen drinking water, it all started to come back to me…

As I pushed through the heavy velvet curtains, I knew it wouldn’t be an ordinary night. It was one of Adam’s final nights as a single man before he married his longtime boyfriend and after a night of sipping cocktails through penis straws and playing drunken games we were now at a posh gay strip club.

As Best Girl/Person of Honor, I was in charge of making sure the gaggle of gays and handful of girls that were in our party had an amazing time and although I was nervous, I was up to the challenge.

On the other side of the velvet curtain, a beefy blonde was grinding his hips in blue and white underoo-style underwear. As I scanned the room for a place for us all to sit, a Latin man in a suit sailed over to me. “Hello, can I help you?” he said with a smile. I explained that we had a large group and with a waive of his hand he instructed a few waiters to create a space at the front of the stage for my party. “I own this club and we want to make sure you have a wonderful night, please let me know how I can be of service to you.”

I motioned to Adam who was taking a seat in one of the soft velvet reclining chairs, “Well, that’s the guest of honor so just make sure he has a good time!”

“I will,” the owner replied. Then he cocked his head to the side, “you look familiar to me…”

The owners face didn’t ring a bell for me, “hmmm maybe you’ve seen me out with Adam before. Are you gay or straight?”

“I’m straight.” he said with a chuckle, “I love women!” he leaned in and lowered his voice, “…big women”.

Of course, I hate when men reference my size when trying to hit on me. As I’ve said before If you like me, dont call me fat. But in an expensive strip club, I figured a little harmless flirtation with the owner couldn’t hurt. So I gave him a little smile and walked away.

The night was going well and we were having a blast. I had already had quite a few drinks before we got to the strip club, so I had planned on drinking water for the rest of the night. All of that changed when the owner started sending me complimentary Patron. Before I knew it, I was in full party mode cheering my friends on while they got lap dances.

I was drunk.

Then instead of sending me Patron, the owner sent me a dancer to give me a lap dance. Strippers make me uncomfortable, but it was a nice gesture considering the circumstances. After the lap dance, I went over to thank the owner. “You’re very welcome,” he said. I did my best to make small talk, but the Patron was clouding my senses. I asked him how he got into the business of owning a gay strip club and he explained that its only “gay” one night a week. He asked if I wanted a tour of the club and I drunkenly agreed. He took my hand and lead me through another set of heavy velvet curtains and up a set of stairs.

There were a row of plush cubicle-like rooms. “This is really nice, you should be proud,” I said. He smiled and pulled back the velvet curtain to one of the private rooms, “You can go inside if you want…” before I could respond, he was kissing my neck. Everything was moving in slow motion, so it took me longer than normal to realize that he wasn’t really interested in showing me his club, he wanted to show me “something else”.

I began to pull away and at that moment my phone chimed with a text from one of Adam’s friends. We’re all ready to go– where are you?

I rushed back down the stairs to meet up with my friends. I thanked the owner for a great night without looking at him, we all jumped in a cab and 20 minutes later I was home, passed out in my bed.

Its rare for me to be out without Robert these days and its even more rare for me to be drunk and alone with a men who are interested in me. Although nothing really happened, I know I should probably mention what happened with the manager to Robert.

I hope he doesn’t freak out.

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  • http://www.dollchic.blogspot.com doll

    i don’t think you should mention it to Robert

  • http://skinnyemmie.com Emmie

    One part of me thinks: “ooh, creepy!” but then the other part thinks “damn right he was attracted to you!”
    tell Robert – you didn’t do anything wrong, so he shouldn’t worry about it.

  • http://glowithlove.blogspot.com Gloria

    I think you should tell Robert because relationships are all about open honest communication and Emmie is right, you didn’t do anything wrong. There’s no need for him (or you) to worry.

  • http://singlikesassy.blogspot.com SingLikeSassy

    Other than concern for your safety (cause, really, going off alone with a strange man was dangerous), I can’t see why he would be “freaked out.”

  • Robert

    It sounds like everyone had fun at the bachelor(ette)party! I agree,a relationship is based on honesty! I would tell him! You haven’t done anything wrong and i don’t think he would be freaked out…

  • juliette

    I think he might freak out because you went off to a private place with someone you did not know while you were drunk. But not because you did anything “wrong” with the guy, because you didn’t. I’m glad you’re okay and I do think you should tell him.

  • Elle

    I don’t know if you’re just posting an abbreviated version of your nights events, or if you just don’t remember everything but it seems like there should be more to what you’re saying happened. Either way you need to tell him. Tell him the whole story. He deserves to know if you’re in a committed relationship.

  • Christine

    I thought that you and Robert weren’t in a committed relationship. And even if you were sometimes people will come onto you. You pushed him away, which was the right thing to do! I don’t see why you should tell him, just avoid being alone with people you don’t know while you’re under the influence and you should be fine.

  • J

    Definitely don’t tell him.. Nothing happened, it didn’t mean anything to you, so it’s best locked away in the vault.. If you tell him, it will always be in the back of his mind when you go out alone with your friends..

    Put the shoe on the other foot.. if he told you the same story, how would you react? Would you believe him if he said nothing happened? I know you would want to know, but do you think it would be better you not knowing?

    Saying all that.. alcohol.. “private tour” of a night club.. yeh, you’re asking for a little trouble! :)

  • Lissa

    I don’t think you should tell Robert: 1) Nothing really happened with the club owner and 2) It’s not like you ‘liked’ the guy_ you were intoxicated. You don’t want Robert to think that you can’t be trust with men once intoxicated. So again I say, not necessary.

  • Lauren

    You definitely have to tell Robert. Even if nothing unseemly happened, you make it unseemly by keeping it a secret. And he may freak out, most folks I dated would have freaked. But hopefully he’ll get over it. It’ll be way worse if he finds out later. Men get really embarrassed when they find out about this through someone else – don’t make him lose face like that. Don’t let the guilt of this hang over you!

    One time I was out at a bar with my husband and some other friends. I was too drunk to notice that a guy I was talking to had his arm around me, despite my husband shooting daggers with his eyes at this guy. We just don’t have our wits about us when drunk and the lesson I learned was to not get that far gone, even if I’m with friends. It’s even more dangerous for a single girl in the City. Take care of yourself!

  • http://www.mynewhitmanwrites.com/ Myne Whitman

    I agree with those who think you shouldn’t tell Robert, but hey!

  • Gina

    I think you should tell Robert. You may not have done anything wrong but relationships are based on trust and honesty. If the situation was reversed you would want to know right? Besides, if he finds out later it will only make it a bigger deal then it really was.

  • Steph

    It’s okay to tell a pubic blog audience but not okay to tell someone who you want to share your life, body and self with? To me, that seems kind of ridiculous. I met my husband in 9th grade, got married after 10 years, and are still together-a huge key of getting through the awkward years was being honest with each other and treating each other with respect. I think it’s disrespectful to knowingly omit something but each relationship is different so your call.

  • Elle

    I already commented but I just have one more thing to say, Robert obviously feels that you guys should share these kind of things too. I distinctly remember a past blog post about him approaching you and asking for permission to accept an ex-friend of yours, request on FB. If he felt the need to be open with you bout that, why would you even second guess whether you need to be open with him about this?