I woke up on Sunday morning with an intense feeling that I needed to talk to Robert, but I didn’t know why. My headache and queasiness let me know that the night before had been wild, but what about a “Bachelor(ette)” party for my gay best friend would I need to tell Robert about? I rolled out of bed and as I stood in my kitchen drinking water, it all started to come back to me…
As I pushed through the heavy velvet curtains, I knew it wouldn’t be an ordinary night. It was one of Adam’s final nights as a single man before he married his longtime boyfriend and after a night of sipping cocktails through penis straws and playing drunken games we were now at a posh gay strip club.
As Best Girl/Person of Honor, I was in charge of making sure the gaggle of gays and handful of girls that were in our party had an amazing time and although I was nervous, I was up to the challenge.
On the other side of the velvet curtain, a beefy blonde was grinding his hips in blue and white underoo-style underwear. As I scanned the room for a place for us all to sit, a Latin man in a suit sailed over to me. “Hello, can I help you?” he said with a smile. I explained that we had a large group and with a waive of his hand he instructed a few waiters to create a space at the front of the stage for my party. “I own this club and we want to make sure you have a wonderful night, please let me know how I can be of service to you.”
I motioned to Adam who was taking a seat in one of the soft velvet reclining chairs, “Well, that’s the guest of honor so just make sure he has a good time!”
“I will,” the owner replied. Then he cocked his head to the side, “you look familiar to me…”
The owners face didn’t ring a bell for me, “hmmm maybe you’ve seen me out with Adam before. Are you gay or straight?”
“I’m straight.” he said with a chuckle, “I love women!” he leaned in and lowered his voice, “…big women”.
Of course, I hate when men reference my size when trying to hit on me. As I’ve said before If you like me, dont call me fat. But in an expensive strip club, I figured a little harmless flirtation with the owner couldn’t hurt. So I gave him a little smile and walked away.
The night was going well and we were having a blast. I had already had quite a few drinks before we got to the strip club, so I had planned on drinking water for the rest of the night. All of that changed when the owner started sending me complimentary Patron. Before I knew it, I was in full party mode cheering my friends on while they got lap dances.
I was drunk.
Then instead of sending me Patron, the owner sent me a dancer to give me a lap dance. Strippers make me uncomfortable, but it was a nice gesture considering the circumstances. After the lap dance, I went over to thank the owner. “You’re very welcome,” he said. I did my best to make small talk, but the Patron was clouding my senses. I asked him how he got into the business of owning a gay strip club and he explained that its only “gay” one night a week. He asked if I wanted a tour of the club and I drunkenly agreed. He took my hand and lead me through another set of heavy velvet curtains and up a set of stairs.
There were a row of plush cubicle-like rooms. “This is really nice, you should be proud,” I said. He smiled and pulled back the velvet curtain to one of the private rooms, “You can go inside if you want…” before I could respond, he was kissing my neck. Everything was moving in slow motion, so it took me longer than normal to realize that he wasn’t really interested in showing me his club, he wanted to show me “something else”.
I began to pull away and at that moment my phone chimed with a text from one of Adam’s friends. We’re all ready to go– where are you?
I rushed back down the stairs to meet up with my friends. I thanked the owner for a great night without looking at him, we all jumped in a cab and 20 minutes later I was home, passed out in my bed.
Its rare for me to be out without Robert these days and its even more rare for me to be drunk and alone with a men who are interested in me. Although nothing really happened, I know I should probably mention what happened with the manager to Robert.
I hope he doesn’t freak out.