I’m a young women who has just become a reader of your blog . My predicament is I’m “that girl”. That girl that is a last resort when looking for a girlfriend. Now I love my friends who are gorgeous and beautiful and so sweet! They both seem to be the center of attention and desire from most of the boys my age. But I’m beginning to notice that I maybe their best friend but Im…. different.
I’m “one of the guys” to all the boys around me and though I’m happy they feel comfortable enough to be able to lean on my shoulder, I want something more. I hadn’t realized how much it bothered me until the boy I had been crushing on asked me if I could tell one of my best friends that he loved her. It broke my heart but I told my friend anyway knowing it would be the best thing to do. After she rejected him the next month he asked out my other friend (yeah I know my life sounds completely suck-tastic) and was once again he was denied.
He came to me just weeks later confessing that he would like me to be with him…. I angrily denied him. This made me realize that I may be plus sized but I will not play a last resort to be pushed around because boys think that I can’t get a man due to my size! I know I sound angry and maybe even a little jealous but I just can’t do it any more. This may not be a question but I just wanted to let you know you’ve inspired me to be a P.S.P and I would love to hear from you. The support and wisdom you have given to your readers is much appreciated
Your latest reader~ S.
You seem like you’re a bit younger, so I hope some of the older TBGB readers will chime in on this one, since I’m pretty sure we’ve all been through this.
I remember what it was like to be a plus size teen. It was hard! Especially when all of my friends were thin and got lots of attention from guys at school. I too, remember being the “friend” and how annoying it was. Boys could talk to me on the phone for hours, but they’d want to go out with my skinny friends who could barely hold a conversation, augh! (The good news is that “friends” make the best “girlfriends” in the long run and when you get older, guys start to realize that. Robert and I were friends for a loooong time before we started dating and it was the best way to start our relationship).
My favorite part of your letter is when you said “This made me realize that I may be plus sized but I will not play a last resort to be pushed around because boys think that I can’t get a man due to my size!”
Wow– what an amazing girl you must be! I have to be honest, at your age I probably would have just gone out with him so I could have a boyfriend! It wasn’t until I got much older that I realized I didn’t have to just take what I could get when it came to men.
Basically, I don’t think you need advice from me, but I think you need encouragement. You’re on the right track! You’ve got a good sense of self worth and obviously you have amazing qualities or these guys wouldn’t even be friends with you. Keep your standards because I don’t think you’re asking for much and soon enough you’ll come across a boy who can meet your needs. And when you meet him, I want to hear about it, so keep in touch!
P.S. Any older PSP’s have anything to add about being “the friend”?