Filed Under: Curvy Conversations, Dating
I found your blog about 6 months ago and always look forward to reading about your adventures in life, love, and style!
A question for you: do you and Robert still work together?
I’ve been hanging out a bit with a man from work (we actually went out last Saturday with 2 of his friends and we’ve done other things together as well) and am just not sure if it’s such a wise idea for me to become involved romantically with someone at the office.
I really like seeing him throughout the week and our interactions at work are pretty much the best part of my day.We IM all day (half for work purposes), he’s in my cubicle constantly, we have lunch together most days–we’re basically inseparable during working hours. But I worry about saying something that I can’t take back and then having to face him and work with him every day.
Is it smart to get attached to a work mate? I’m just not sure….PSP in MKE
Dear PSP in MKE,
Yes, Robert and I still work together and my interactions with him are the best part of my day, so I know how you feel!
This is my first office romance, so… although I’m not an expert, I’ll give you a few things to consider:
- Do you work in the same department? If so, the first thing you should do is (discreetly) find out what your companies policy is on these things. From what I understand, its usually not a problem unless one of you reports directly to the other. While Robert and I work for the same company, we work in different departments, so we’re in the clear!
- Can you handle it? I know it seems like a silly question, but dating someone at your job means there is ZERO separation. When I’m frustrated with Robert for something that happened on Tuesday night, I don’t get to go to work on Wednesday morning and forget about him for a while, because… he’s there!
- Can your coworkers handle it? As much as you try to hide it, people will find out that you’re dating a coworker. Even if your company doesn’t have a problem with it, people love juicy gossip and an office romance is the juiciest of the juicy. My coworkers can be quite obnoxious with their interest in Robert and me. Although we’ve never confirmed that we’re dating, they love to do everything short of making “kissy faces” when they see us together. Robert never cared, but it used to really bother me. Eventually I had to accept the fact that people are nosy by nature and that will never change. Now I just take it in stride and keep my focus on Robert and what we have.
- Is he/she worth it? When things get messy at work it makes it uncomfortable for everyone involved. This might sound blunt, but if you feel things turning into a sex thing, or a fling I’d advise that you look somewhere else for a booty call. But if you feel like this could really “be something”, go for it!
- What will you do if it ends? We all enter every relationship hoping that it will last forever, but when dating coworkers, you really need to ask yourself if you could handle seeing your ex for 8 hours a day 5 days a week. If Robert and I stopped seeing each other, the hardest part for me would be our “habits”. He waits for me everyday after work, we have lunch together 3-4 days a week. If those things stopped happening, my work days would be pretty gloomy! But hopefully, I’ll never know what that’s like *fingers crossed*