Are We Moving Too Slow?

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My friend Kayla pushed her glass of wine to the side and leaned across the table.

“I think I’m going to be engaged soon,” she said with a twinkle in her eye.

Kayla and Ben are crazy about each other. He calls her constantly, they’re on a regular sleep over schedule and they’re tip-toeing around the “L” word. They’ve also been dating for about two months.

A week later I was at brunch when another friend announced that she’d just booked a trip to the Bahamas with a guy that she’d been dating for one month.

A trip to the Bahamas sounds like a blast, so I was excited for my friend and listening to Kayla gush about Ben made me so happy for her. She’s been through a lot with men, so its beautiful to see her treated the way she deserves. Ben is a good guy, and he seems to know what he wants, which in New York is quite refreshing.

Over the past few days my happiness for my friends began to mix with an uneasiness as I began to think about my relationship with Robert. When Robert and I started seeing each other, we agreed to take things slow. Its what I wanted then and its what I want now. But a tiny part of me can’t help but compare my relationship to my friends relationships.

Robert and I spend a lot of time together, but listening to Kayla made me feel like we should be spending more time. I’m no where near ready to get married, I don’t want Robert to propose, I would love to be in the Bahamas right now instead of rainy New York City and going with Robert would be awesome. But if I’m honest with myself the idea of sharing a hotel with him is terrifying. I’m not ready!

I’m struggling… I think I’m a little jealous… that fast passion looks so appealing!

Any advice?

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Have You Lost Weight?

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As I continue to work towards dropping the pounds, I’m realizing that the scale isn’t the only way to tell if I’ve lost weight. We all know that sometimes the scale wont budge even when we’re doing everything right, so here are a few things I’d suggest doing to keep encouraged.

  1. Put a Ring on It! I have a ring that I’ve worn every day since I was 16. Lately the ring has started to turn on my finger. Its loose! Which means my fingers are getting smaller.

 

  1. Buy a Belt I bought a belt when I began my weight loss attempts this year. Every time I put it on, I count how many loops in I’m wearing it. In January it was 9 loops in… now its 12! Even when the scale doesn’t budge, I know my tummy’s shrinking. You can also buy a pair of jeans (like Marisota womens jeans) in a size or two down and try them on each month to see how they fit. I have a pair of jeans that I finally got up over my hips and that felt soooo good!

 

  1. Ask “The Twins” I went bra shopping last week and I couldn’t buy anything! the “DDD” was a little too big but the “DD” was still too small. Although I hate to say good-bye to my boobies, they’re usually the first things to go when I’m dropping weight.

 

  1. Listen to Your Friends When people start randomly telling you how good you look… its probably code for “you’re losing weight”.

 

  1. Look in the Mirror If you think your face is slimmer, it probably is! Trust your observations and the scale will catch up!

 

How do YOU measure weight loss without the scale?

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A Note From Onestopplus.co.uk: Finding The Perfect Swimsuit

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The ideal plus size swimwear should work to flatter your appearance, accentuate your bust, trim your tummy, camouflage your hips and of course make you feel 100% confident relaxing by the pool!

It is good news that plus size swimwear is now largely available on the market as buying swimwear can be a daunting enough task.  However, choosing a swimsuit for the fuller figure no longer has to be a difficult task, regardless of your size or shape.

There are however a few tips that should be followed if you wish to invest in the perfect swimsuit.  If you wish to hide a bigger belly then investing in a full swimsuit complete with a vertical stripe pattern is a good option.  Another tip is to look for a swimsuit that has gathering around the stomach area, as this will hide any signs of a bulge.

If your figure is made up of a small top half but a more shapely bottom then look into purchasing a swimsuit that has wider shoulder straps or alternatively one that comes with a skirt attachment or wrap.

For those that have a smaller bust yet possess a bigger bottom half, choosing a halter bikini top with added underwiring for that extra lift.  Lighter colours are also a better option if you wish to enhance your upper half, as blacks tend to make you appear smaller.  Strapless swimsuits will also give the appearance of a flatter chest so it is best to avoid this type of garment unless of course you want to hide your bust.

If you do have an extremely big bust then you will need to invest in a swimsuit that offers a lot of support.  Wider straps and underwiring is also a good option, which will in turn add a little extra lift.

It might help if you browse a plus size retailer such as Onestopplus.co.uk and you can check out all of the latest styles on trend this season.

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I Hate Men Sometimes

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Note: Since I started dating Robert, I haven’t had any single/dating stories to share. Those stories are so much fun, so I thought I’d share a story from before I became a boring relationship girl ;-) Here goes:

The air inside of Belmont Lounge was thick with sweat and smoke. My hair was glued to my face with perspiration and there were bodies pressed against me from every angle… I was having the time of my life!

I’m a huge fan of Reggae music, so when my Jamaican friend, Bettyann, invited me to a Dancehall party I jumped at the chance to go. We hadn’t stopped dancing since we walked in and if I didn’t know how Jamaican men felt about Plus Size Princesses before, I knew now! All I had to do was move my body to the sexually charged beats and every few songs a different guy would approach me. Some would quietly take my hand and intertwine their bodies with mine. Others would slip behind me and slide their hands over my hips and soon we’d be moving in-sync to whatever song was blasting through the speakers on either side of the room.

This went on for hours, until I decided that I needed a break. I grabbed a bottle of water and leaned against the wall to cool down. As I stood sipping my water, I felt someones fingertips on my thigh. I looked to my left and standing next to me was a beautiful man with shoulder length locks. His back was against the wall, but his pelvis was pushed up slightly and there was a curvy cutie “winding” on him. (For anyone who doesn’t know, “winding” is the equivalent of giving a lap-dance while standing up).

Because the Curvy Cutie was dancing with her back to him, she had no idea that he was trying to get my attention. I looked up at him and he gave me a sexy smile, “hi” he mouthed. I gave an embarrassed smile and looked away. I kept my eyes averted, but soon, those fingertips were creeping up my thigh again. This guy was so incredibly attractive, even though I wanted to walk away and find someone else to dance with… it was as if the light touch of his fingertips were pinning me against the wall.

Between sips of water, I would give shy glances at my dread-locked friend and every time I looked over, his eyes were glued to me even though he was thrusting his pelvis on another girls behind.

I knew it was silly, but I was basking in the attention of this beautiful man. I was hoping that he and Curvy Cutie would get bored with each other after a few songs and then he and I could dance.

I decided I would be patient and wait.

Just as the thrill of his fingertips was beginning to wear thin, the Curvy Cutie turned around, whispered something to him and walked away. I stood quietly and waited for him to dance with me, but he didn’t move. I looked into his sleepy brown eyes and he looked around the room a few times before leaning into my ear and saying.

“That’s my girlfriend I’m dancing with…”

I rolled my eyes and started to walk away, but he caught my wrist and leaned into my ear again, “give me your number and I’ll call you tomorrow.” I pulled my wrist away and headed back to the bar for something stronger than water.

I hate men sometimes.

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Happy Feet, Skinny Tees & Sweet Valley Confidential (Friday Giveaway!)

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Happy Friday!

Three things made me happy this week:

1.) Skinny Tees are advertised as “the diet you wear” these comfy, colorful cami’s are built to smooth out lumps and make a seamless curvy figure. I’ve worn Skinny Tees in a few different colors this week and I think they do a good job of smoothing without rolling. I still wore them with spanx, but I really like them. The part I love about them is that I was able to run some errands without a bra!

2.) Happy Feet Insoles are amazing! I wore them with a pair of stilettos this week and with every step I felt like I was getting a foot massage. These insoles are filled with strategically placed liquid and when you walk the liquid moves under your feet. At $39.95, they’re a little more expensive than regular insoles from the drug store, but they’re sooo worth it. (They’ll also cut them for flip-flop sandals if you need it).

3.) Sweet Valley Confidential marks the return of Elizabeth & Jessica Wakefield, the twins from Sweet Valley! I used to devour these books growing up, and reading the latest installment of their lives (at 27 years old) is a guilty pleasure that I’m getting a kick out of.

Soooo I have a gift pack of these three items (Skinny Tees, Happy Feet and a copy of Sweet Valley Confidential) for a lucky TBGB reader… just leave a comment on this post to win!

xoxo,

CeCe

 

***CONTEST CLOSED***

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Should I Date Someone From My Job?

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Dear Cece,

I found your blog about 6 months ago and always look forward to reading about your adventures in life, love, and style!

A question for you: do you and Robert still work together?

I’ve been hanging out a bit with a man from work (we actually went out last Saturday with 2 of his friends and we’ve done other things together as well) and am just not sure if it’s such a wise idea for me to become involved romantically with someone at the office.

I really like seeing him throughout the week and our interactions at work are pretty much the best part of my day.We IM all day (half for work purposes), he’s in my cubicle constantly, we have lunch together most days–we’re basically inseparable during working hours. But I worry about saying something that I can’t take back and then having to face him and work with him every day.

Is it smart to get attached to a work mate? I’m just not sure….PSP in MKE

Dear PSP in MKE,

Yes, Robert and I still work together and my interactions with him are the best part of my day, so I know how you feel!

This is my first office romance, so… although I’m not an expert, I’ll give you a few things to consider:

  1. Do you work in the same department? If so, the first thing you should do is (discreetly) find out what your companies policy is on these things. From what I understand, its usually not a problem unless one of you reports directly to the other. While Robert and I work for the same company, we work in different departments, so we’re in the clear!
  2. Can you handle it? I know it seems like a silly question, but dating someone at your job means there is ZERO separation. When I’m frustrated with Robert for something that happened on Tuesday night, I don’t get to go to work on Wednesday morning and forget about him for a while, because… he’s there!
  3. Can your coworkers handle it? As much as you try to hide it, people will find out that you’re dating a coworker. Even if your company doesn’t have a problem with it, people love juicy gossip and an office romance is the juiciest of the juicy. My coworkers can be quite obnoxious with their interest in Robert and me. Although we’ve never confirmed that we’re dating, they love to do everything short of making “kissy faces” when they see us together. Robert never cared, but it used to really bother me. Eventually I had to accept the fact that people are nosy by nature and that will never change. Now I just take it in stride and keep my focus on Robert and what we have.
  4. Is he/she worth it? When things get messy at work it makes it uncomfortable for everyone involved. This might sound blunt, but if you feel things turning into a sex thing, or a fling I’d advise that you look somewhere else for a booty call. But if you feel like this could really “be something”, go for it!
  5. What will you do if it ends? We all enter every relationship hoping that it will last forever, but when dating coworkers, you really need to ask yourself if you could handle seeing your ex for 8 hours a day 5 days a week. If Robert and I stopped seeing each other, the hardest part for me would be our “habits”. He waits for me everyday after work, we have lunch together 3-4 days a week. If those things stopped happening, my work days would be pretty gloomy! But hopefully, I’ll never know what that’s like *fingers crossed*
Anyway, I hope that helps. It sounds to me like you and your work friend are taking things slow and that’s the best way to enter a relationship in my opinion. Keep your eyes open and continue to build your friendship. Everything else will fall into place… it did for me!
xoxo,
CeCe
CeCe@thebiggirlblog.com
P.S. Has anyone else done an office romance? If so, leave your advice for our PSP in MKE below!
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