Two things happened to me last week that bothered me, I mean really bothered me. I’m going to give you the two scenarios and then I’m going to try my best to explain why I was so annoyed:
Thursday: My girlfriend Kayla invited me to have drinks with a few girls from her grad school program. We met up at a hotel bar for happy hour and Kayla, who just moved to New York from California, was asking us about New York Men. As we all shared our thoughts on men in the city that never sleeps. Suddenly, one of her friends paused the conversation, “wait a minute… Kayla, what kind of guys are you attracted to?”
Kayla laughed, “well, that’s the problem! The guys that have been approaching me since I moved here are not my type!”
“What’s your type?” I asked.
“I really prefer a guy that’s kind of… round, like… chubby,” she took a breath “the guys in New York obviously spend a lot of time in the gym, which is great. But, I like a guy with love handles!”
“Oh,” her friend stammered, “that’s not at all what expected you to say! That’s weird… you like chubby guys even though you’re like HOT!” then her friend looked at me “I mean– not that hot people can’t be attracted to chubby people– but, I dont know that’s interesting!”
Fast Forward to Sunday: I was catching up on my DVR and lo and behold there was a plus size Millionairess on Bravo’s Millionaire Matchmaker named Robin. If you didn’t see the episode, you should watch it. Robin is pretty clueless which makes for the kind of train wreck episode that you can’t stop watching. I’m not going to recap the entire episode but in a nutshell, Robin is only interested in dating someone that is super attractive. Common interests? A good heart? those things are not important to her. She just wants someone who looks like Matthew Mcconaughey.
When the “Matchmaker”, Patti, heard that Robin ( who’s easily a size 24) wanted to date someone who looked like Matthew Mcconaughey her reaction was to focus on how “superficial” Robin was and then to ask what made Robin think that she “deserved” a Matthew Mcconaughey look-alike.
After these two incidents, my mind has been swirling with “Why’s”. I’m going to try to organize them here, hopefully I make sense, here goes:
- Why can’t a Plus Size Princess “deserve” an attractive guy? I would love to know the equation to find out who “deserves” who as a mate. The word “deserves” implies that attractive people are worth more as human beings, which is absurd. People are soooo much more than their looks! I believe that I deserve a guy with a good heart, winning personality who cares about me and if that guy happens to look like a Calvin Klein model and I don’t, that doesn’t mean I deserve him any more/less than the next girl. If you end up watching the episode, you’ll see that the most attractive guy in the room was not a good person! So, no one really deserved to be with him.
- Why is it that the minute a plus size girl expresses ANY kind of physical desires in her mate, she’s considered superficial or shallow? I know that being overweight is considered by many to be the ultimate human offense, but… when a woman gains weight she doesn’t have to gain an “I’ll take what I can get” mentality. We all have things that turn us on/off and that’s okay. I’ll tell you what Plus Size Princesses do “deserve”: PSP’s deserve to be in a relationship where there is MUTUAL ATTRACTION. A fat girl with preferences is not “picky”, “shallow” or “superficial”.
- Why was the idea of my friend Kayla (who is gorgeous, with the perfect hour glass shape) liking a chubby guy so outrageous? She didn’t say she liked serial killers, she said she liked love handles! Give me a break.
- Why is it that even though I have strong opinions about this stuff… I’m still surprised when hot guys flirt with me at the gym?