A Plus Size Teen in Love (Curvy Conversations)

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Hey CeCe,

I’m a huge fan of yours. I look forward to reading your blog every week. It’s been hard for me because I’m a plus size teenager. I was really lost because I didn’t love myself or think that I could look cute being plus size. One day I googled “plus size blogger” and you came up! I fell in love with you and your words and I have looked at myself differently ever since.

So my problem is I really like this guy who goes to my church. He cute and that’s really all I can tell you about him because I have never talked to him. Is that weird? In a way I think I know him because of his father (the pastor of the church) so I’m going crazy here. I don’t know how these things work, I have never had a boyfriend or anything because guys don’t look at the big girl and if they do, they don’t want others to know.

I don’t know if he would date a plus size girl (or even date a black girl). I guess I just want to see if there could be anything there for me.So anything you have for me would be LOVED!!! and HEPLFUL!!!

Hello my little Plus Size Princess,

Reading your note made me tear up a little! I’m so glad that TBGB can help your self esteem in some small way.

(You have a crush on the pastors son, huh? Now you’re going to have “Son of a Preacher Man” stuck in my head all day!) I’m a little nervous about giving advice like this to a teenager because I feel like high school is the time to have fun and focus on yourself and what you want to accomplish for college etc., but I also remember what it was like to crush on a guy from far away… it can drive a girl crazy! So, I’ll give you my two cents and hopefully some other PSP’s will share their wisdom with you also.

Often times as girls we judge ourselves on whether we have a boyfriend or not and I think that’s kind of ridiculous. When I was in high school, I always had guys calling me and dates to the proms but I didn’t have a “boyfriend” and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.

If I were in your position, here’s what I would do: I would focus on becoming friends with your crush. So far, you like him based on what you see not what you know about him. Get to know him if you can (perhaps join a youth group that he’s a part of, or make a point of saying hello to him after service) this way if it turns out he’s a jerk, you wont waste time on him.

If you find out he’s a good guy and your friendship blossoms, I would wait and see what he does. In my experience when a guy likes you, he will let you know. Either he will ask for your phone number, add you on facebook or ask you to hang out. Then you can take it from there.

I just want you to take things slow and focus on making him a friend first (friends make the best boyfriends anyway).

Were you able to read last weeks post about PSP’s and attractive men? The comments will assure you that there are curvy women all over the world who are dating cute boys and when the time is right, you will be one of them….

Keep us posted!

xoxo,

CeCe

P.S. Any additional comments from other PSP’s who have been in her shoes? Feel free to chime in!

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  • http://www.tha-kspot.blogspot.com KellzTheDiva

    I remember feeling like this when I was in my teens, even though I’m not far from them (I’m 23). I had the BIGGEST crush on this guy who has just transferred to my high school during my freshman year. However, I THOUGHT he would never be interested in me because I too am plus sized. Well, I got the courage to tell him I liked him and he walked up to me after school that day and he told me he liked me too! I swear I was like “Whhhhaaaaaaaat?!” LOL

    Anyhoo, after that we became good friends and eventually became a couple. We lasted 4 whole years. Sometimes you just have to step outside of your comfort zone…it was worth it for me!

  • http://twitter.com/girltrueheart Lusty Sagittarian

    Absolutely the best advice given: friendship first. It will cause you to control your emotions a little and help you see him with open eyes.

    How to become his friend? You already have church in common, so that’s a great place to start. It might take a lot of guts to walk up to him and say hi, but you can do it! Have a question to ask him, so he’ll give you an answer.

    And remember your most important asset: SMILE!

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  • http://themerrytraveller.blogspot.com The Merry Traveller

    I agree on becoming friends first and see how Nature will take its course. I would also suggest the same as CeCe to take things slowly because often when I was young, I found myself often disappointed as I was very hopeful but thing is the higher your hopes get, you also have to understand the consequences of falling harder if ever.

    Take it slow, keep your heart safe, evaluate the situation properly, probe for sincerity on his part and take nothing less because you are worth it!

  • http://girlslashwoman.wordpress.com G/W

    Good advice Cece. Personally, I spent all four years of high school focused on one guy who wouldn’t give me the time of day. So my advice is… don’t do that!

  • Elle

    I’m just now learning, at 27 years old, that you have to take chances.no truer advice could be given than to get to know this boy first. Honestly, looks can be deceiving. What may seem attractive turns out to be heartbreaking. But it could also be a beautiful future friendship/relationship. Most importantly don’t even begin to think that you are somehow less than worthy. You are human and whole just like anyone else on this earth. Your body is yours to love no matter what, and you shouldn’t feel less than deserving of the best. Having that attitude will shine through and make others want to be around and with you. In the end, no one’s gonna love you, if you don’t love yourself.

  • PerfectlyImperfect

    OMG, girl I know EXACTLY how you feel! My situation is similar only he & I used to be best friends when we were younger. It’s funny how we used to talk everyday and now, I get nervous just being around him. As we grew older, we became strangers but I still somehow fell in love with him. We never talk but I always catch him staring at me. I think he has feelings for me too. But, like most teens, we’re both too stupid to do anything about it. So, my advice,girl: Go for it!!! You’ll ALWAYS regret & think about what couldve been. I hope it all works out for you! <3 xoxo

  • http://www.yourchaircovers.com/ Victoria Mische

    Well, sorry to hear about your situation. My best advice, don’t put yourself on a hurry to have boyfriends. I know having a crush on opposite sex is normal but if he has the same feeling towards you, I know he will not cause any delay to tell his feelings too. But in your situation, don’t push yourself on someone who doesn’t have interest on you. This is quite hard but time heals…

  • http://www.lnlclothing.com/ Samantha Morris

    I agree with Victoria… If he has the same feeling towards you, he will not hesitate to tell you about his feeling. Just move on and I know for sure, you will meet your true love on the right time! Don’t waste your time on people who doesn’t like you…

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