I Hate My Arms!


I. Hate. My. Arms.

When it comes to Plus Size Princesses and our arms, I think we all have a cross to bear. From my observation, its either flab or stretch marks or both! I’ve seen PSP’s with big arms but they somehow managed to maintain some shape, definition, but those girls are few and far between. Most of us are either trying not to move too much so our “bat wings” don’t wiggle or we’re praying that we don’t end up with stretch marks from our collar bones to our elbows.

Honestly, I feel like I’m right in the middle. I’ve seen flabbier arms than mine… I’ve seen stretch marks in more abundance… but when it comes to my arms, they’re still one of my least favorite body parts.

This summer, I’ve found myself in a predicament: I hate my arms, but I love clothes! and my love of clothes has made me realize that throwing a shrug over all my summer dresses just isn’t cute anymore (for me). I’ve noticed that shrugs take away from dresses and make them seem more casual than they are. As I continue to evolve in my fashion and style, I can’t keep falling back on the same fat coverage tricks I used in high-school, so its time to step my game up.

But, what’s a big girl to do? Push-ups? Arm Curls? …Shake Weights?! All of those are good plans, for some long term Michelle-Obama-Arm goals, but I’m wondering if, for right now, maybe I should just… get over it.

I think I need to wear my halter tops, strapless dress and sleeveless shirts without shrugs, with confidence, when I want to. Its going to be hard… but if I continue to encourage all of you not to “wait on your weight” I have to push myself to do the same. Last night I wore a sleeveless dress to an event with no shrug or cardigan and I got just as many compliments on my dress as I would any other night.

Full Figured Fashion Week starts on Wednesday night and I think this would be a good time for me to rock some of my cocktail dresses and other pieces that I love sans-shrug.

I think I’m going to need some support on this one… what do you think? With the summer coming, do YOU struggle with your arms?

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07400145319560952489 MissBrown

    I am and have always been crazy self conscious about my arms too … it really took my sister pointing out that Im always going to think they are worse than they really are… we are our worst critics … and after that I just stopped caring I wear what I wanna wear and wear it proud flabby arms and all!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01740807584974557961 ChristenPhillips

    hi, first time reading your blog, but I had to comment. YES… I totally struggle with my arms! But honestly, when you see other people out walking around do you find yourself being really critical or their arm fat? … in most cases, no. you never really notice and even if you do notice, you forget about it in the ext few seconds and move on. So, with that in mind… go wear your cute dresses and be happy! :)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07064399321609533501 Melissa W

    UMM YESS! You hit the nail on the head. Some weeks I'm good, some weeks I hate them. But I do have to remember that it's always worse than I think it is, and no one is really looking at your arms. This year I, too, will be going without shrugs, cardigans, and bolero jackets. It's just too hot! WE CAN DO IT!!

  • Anonymous

    You are finally coming to a realization that I had a few years back!! I realized I loved clothes so much and u was limiting myself to only shirts and dresses with sleeves! So on my bday in 2007 I bought a gorgeous Ashley Stewart halter dress and felt sexy in it and got just as many comments on how beautiful I was that night! Every since then I realized I was the only one with hangups about my arms, no one else. I was lettingy insecurities color my outlook not only of my self but other plus size women…as long as you keep it classy, go for what u know! Keep it up girl and God Bless!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/16307795019515443648 V

    I hate my arms too, but I just get over it and wear what I want to wear. I wore a tank dress this weekend and got many compliments on it big arms and all! Just do it!

  • http://jessdowney.com Jessica Downey

    My friend at work and I were just talking about this today! I have such a hard time exposing my arms as well. But you know what I realized? Sometimes when I wear a jacket or sweater or some other cover up in the summer it makes me wonder if I look just as bad as I (think I) look with my bare arms exposed. And sometimes I wonder if I draw more attention to myself because I am the girl in the cute dress wearing a sweater in 90 degree heat. :) I love your attitude and I say rock it!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01278345091374215373 asha

    i don't have a problem with my arms. what i hate are my shoulders. actually, not my shoulders but the ugly marks left on my shoulders from years of wearing the wrong bra. hopefully you didn't have to deal with your bra strap digging into your shoulders but the aftermath has me covering up. i just bought my 1st shrug and i haven't worn it yet because i think it makes my breasts look bigger. by the way, i wear a 40F (i just lost 2 inches – yea me!). my bf says that it's not that bad but i still think that he's just being kind. so no strapless, halter anything for me…for now.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14154356254069392823 One Lusty Sagittarian

    I have trouble wearing things tucked into pants. Yet, sometimes, it just MUST BE DONE. I am behind you 100%. I think that the people who will mind your arms are people who shouldn't matter to you, and the majority of the people aren't going to be looking at that part of you anyway. Especially if you keep a smile on your face.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/15607038609261289232 thefatandskinnyonfashion

    I wrote a post about this last week. I think you should just wear whatever you want and say to hell with your arms. That is what I did. I am still nervous but I dont care anymore because I am hot and I am tired of wearing things in the summer that cover up my arms. Do you, be happy, and look fierce!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07067890201157046546 Donda

    OH YES! I would take my pineapple upside down a$$ over my bingo arm anyday! I wish they made an arm girdle!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07200481431389353304 -AV-

    You know, I really don't like my arms either. However when summer roles around, it is just too hot in Florida for me to care about my arms. The way I look at it is, I never ever wear something that I shouldn't, meaning I don't put on an XL spaghetti strap painted on to my skin number when I should be wearing a 2X tank top. So if I decide to show a little arm, people who know me may notice, however no one else really does… because by the time I walk away from the mirror and I'm out the door I'm totally not thinking about it anymore. I've found if I don't worry about my insecurities, other people just don't notice them. Rock your beautiful summer self, in your awesome summer fashions.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00555676530747924413 Archer

    i just want to say i love yoour blog, its great. And i have always been self conscious about my arms also because i have chicken skin which means i get red bumps on my arms…that plus flabby arms makes me super duper self conscious but then one day i realized i'm missing out on so many cute clothes..so i too have been slowly starting to wear tanks etc…I just wanna say i'm proud of you for getting over you self consciousness and yes in the beginning its hard but then soon you won't even think about your arms!
    p.s. you can read my blog about my chicken skin issues:

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08524904005724917076 NIKKI JO

    I despise my arms! We are in the same boat, somewhat of a bat wing with a hint of stretch mark. I used to not show my arms until one day I was just like, fuck it! If I look good in the shirt, it doesn't matter. Plus if its like 18471201287 degrees out, I don't need to where a shrug that is going to cause me to sweat off my makeup.

    The ONLY thing that cannot be exposed are my "jubs" (that fat that is right under your arm pit when your arms are down) or any spillage from my bra.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/15211829361624972349 Amanda

    I am totally self conscious about my arms, to the point that I walk around w this ragedy cotton cardigan on all the time. My boyfriend says he loves my arms, and insisted today that I take the thing off on the subway. I tolerated it for a bit, baby steps I geuss. Funny thing is, as I was leaving the building, there is a tiny, pixie stick thin girl on my floor and we were both talking about the a/c in the office and she admitted to always having on long sleeves anyway because….she hates her arms!

  • sRa

    this is the one that gets me too!! even tho i see women with 'worse' and think they look great, i still get totally insecure….im thinkin i might actually get an upper arm tattoo…not just as a solution cuz i want one anyway, but i think it might get me over it quicker cuz then ill wanna show my arm off! but i totally agree we need to do embrace ourselves FULLY and bare those arms :)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17653772424879574613 Krista

    I have always felt my arms are disproportinately large compared to the rest of me. A fact which was reinforced to me one night in a bar when a guy approached me and said, "Wow, you have big arms." It was his attempt at a pick-up line, apparently. No amount of toning seems to help them… I am, however, a big fan of cap sleeves, or the kind wiht a slit up the center. It seems to help.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/16488483947168168144 Annah

    All the friggin' time. Especially since all my friends are skinny and they have nice skinny arms. It's horrible. And I live in Miami, so there's no way of hiding those suckers.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/16488483947168168144 Annah

    oh! and sometimes I really think we're way too critical of ourselves. Maybe it's us who see our arms and think they look bad, and it really does show :( Just a thought.

  • http://www.queenofrelationships.com Queenie

    I always called my arms my "Oprahs". I just always noticed Oprah has big arms. It's like, I'm waving "Hi" to someone and my arm jiggle is waving "Bye". *tear. I've always had arm jiggle, even when I was smaller. I guess it's meant to be!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/18324189505800617951 Bombshell Beauty

    I'm with you- my arms are not my favorite feature. But they are what they are, so I don't dwell on it. I wear tanks and halters, strapless and the like without wasting time on feeling self concious!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07924827996584602784 SeoulSearching

    i hate my arms too! but last night while hanging out with my bf… he touched my arms as i cringed and he just said: don't do that… you're beautiful…
    i'm still self-conscious about my body but i'm starting to see that like you said… i shouldn't "wait on my weight"…
    Thanx for all the encouraging posts!!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/18152140043674365510 shegallivants

    I used to cover my arms up all the time (in 30 degrees celsius Singapore! With cardigans!), but like you, I realized that a love of dressing up and fear of exposing wobbly bits just did not mesh. Often it just broke the line of the look and gave the wrong vibe to an otherwise carefully planned outfit. So I started exposing my arms (with fear and trembling!) and then I decided Screw it! They're my arms, I'll never love them, but there's plenty about me I do love and that's okay.

    • misaki

      I’m totally with you! haha. I really have big arms and I really envy those girls earing sleeveless. When I do wear one, I always feel conscious and always with fear. I hope I’ll have more confidence just like you did! :D

  • Temmy

    I had to comment on this i have always been a chubby girl from birth,my mum and sisters are very slim i took after my dad but my mum has chubby arms which i think is the only feature i took from her so my arms are very very chubby compared to my size16/18 body so if a size 16 top is not stretchy i cant wear it.
    My mum and sisters tease me but i really do not get bothered i’m too much of a Fashionista not to rock sleeveless clothes

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  • Lauren

    In high school, I nearly had a drama-aneurysm at the thought of wearing a tank top required for a show choir routine. Today I noticed that the 2 photos of me and my husband that I have displayed on my desk at work I’m wearing dresses that bare my arms. I didn’t have an ah-ha moment like you seem to have (good for you!) but somehow I’ve evolved into a happier and more sane person. Thanks for helping me realize it!

  • shannel james

    i’am with everyone i hate my arms i got the granny flag arms I always have the shirt that the sleves goes to my elbows or way over the wrist. not only that i have dark rouges from bras straps that was to tight but since summer is coming fast i’am going to stop with the excusess and start living. i’am not getting any younger.

  • Lavette

    Yes I definetely understand. I’ve always been insecure about my arms from the infamous stretch marks to the annoying flab. Since I live in New Orleans, I burn up trying to cover my arms up during the summer. Everytime I see something really cute in the stores when im shopping for the summer, 9 times out of ten it’s sleeveless, spaghetti strapped, or halter topped, so i dont get it because i hate wearing my arms out. I love cute clothes and I feel wearing these things without worrying about arm flab is definetly the route to go to build self confidence. After reading this post I realized im too young (19 years old) to dress like a granny. So on that note I defintely will “work” my way into wearing sleeveless clothing!!

  • Marie

    You know, I used to hate my arms too, but I discovered that if you work on your shoulder muscles specifically, it makes your whole arm look a lot more toned. I used to avoid anything with sleeves shorter than elbows. But then I started to work on my shoulders, and strong shoulders make any arm look more shapely (even mine, lol). I’m tellin’ ya. I even got a compliment ON my arms this week! I couldn’t believe it. I was incredulous. But i’m tellin’ ya, it’s all in the shoulder workouts. You can work on the back of the arms too, but the shoulders are really where it’s at. Because then you get that muscle line on the outside of your arm, and it breaks up the appearance of it and makes you look really strong (even if, like me, you’re not actually that strong).

  • http://mealgasm.blogspot.com Christine

    I used to hate my arms, too, and I would wear a long sleeved black button up sweater over my clothes EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Even in 90 degree weather. It was ridiculous. Since then I’ve found the Body for Life program, which brought me to the point where I’m constantly getting compliments on my arms. Now I wear short sleeves even in the winter, but I wear layers until I get to the office :-P

  • amazon goddess

    im in with you all! I have huge arms, they measure 19 inches around unflexed, flexed they measure 23 inches ! arnolds were 21 inchs in his prime days… my muscle is litterally the size of a softball and rock hard.. i armwrestled 2 guys at once on one arm and beat them at the office ! LOL
    im also tall, blonde, green eyes and very pretty im told, just ..big..
    whats sad is that there isnt any guy who can handle me…ive got more muscle in one arm than most men do in both. once i put a big guy in a sleeper hold and squeezed..he was toast in less than 30 seconds..when my huge biceps clamped around his neck it was all over, he lost the bet..lol
    men love my big arms.. not sure why but the tell me that they make them
    all hot and bothered…
    so you girls stop fretting and start flexing !
    youll be amazed at the positive attention you get !

  • Rusty Nail

    Eat less, exercise more. Don´t search for quick easy fixes so you can feel better without improving anything. Being lazy is a big reason why you have this problem to begin with.

    • Bexkee

      What a load of rubbish. Being lazy has sweet FA to do with having big arms. I come from the sort of peasant stock where the females tend to have strong large legs and arms with an hourglass figure in between. Not everyone is supposed to emulate an Olsen twin.

    • Wendygall31

      i lost six stone and still kept my flabby arms. gym wii fit and a personal trainer didnt help. glad i lost the weight but the arms stayed!

  • Sharon

    Thanks to my arms, (and tree bark-like figure) I put on a black, “2nd skin” cardigan over almost everything..t-shirts especially. And it kind of sucks because it’s hot (temperature-wise) and it’s not that flattering anymore. I have 2 simple blouses that I could put on w/o wearing that versatile cardigan and still look okay, but I need more of those and it’s not easy to find. I can’t wear my cardigan all the time in college, people are going to start thinking that I’m weird. Any suggestions, Cece? Anyone? =/

  • Bexkee

    I say get over it and show your arms, there’s people in this world without arms, either due to a deformity at birth or because some religious nutty organisation has helped blow them off. Expose your flabby and fat arms to the world! The sky won’t fall in and people won’t faint at the sight. : )

  • Kay

    Thank you for this post and the helpful comments! I came to this site as I have just purchased a summer dress and was wondering what to wear with it to hide the arms but have decided I’m not going to stress about it anymore. If its hot enough to wear a sleeveless dress then I shall wear one. I will probably try a light tan to tone down the paleness. I would like to add if it hadn’t been for the horrible articles in the media ripping people to shreds for their less than perfect bodies, especially their arms I doubt I would have cared that much. Thanks again.

  • Amber

    I just wanted to say that having you say this, really let me…I don’t even know how to explain it, I’m just so..RELIEVED that I’m not the only one conscious about my arms. All during school, I’ve worn a jacket, or hoodie, or something to cover up my flabby arms. I got so comfortable in my jackets that one day, when I decided not to wear it. I got my comments about “not wearing a jacket” than I did about new new haircut, my firsts time ever wearing a skirt to school, and wedges. But because I’m heading off for college soon, I want to try what you’re doing: just not letting it bother me. I tend to think that people judge me solely based on my weight, and over the years, that’s made me cynical and suspicious that everyone is secretly laughing at me in their heads. But now, I want to change. It’s new people, a new school, and a whole new wardrobe for me. I’m buring my over-sized jackets and sweaters, and but shrugs and cardigans that complement my form :) Thank you so much for saying what I’ve been too scared to admit.

  • candyland

    heey i have the same problem as you :( i really dislike my arms…… i am never able to wear the shirts that i would like to wear…. and that really sucks… no matter how much excersice you do, you will never be able to get rid of the extra skin…. so im getting a brachioplasty…. yayy and im so excited !!!

  • Nana

    People are gonna compliment your clothes not your size, if that was the case it would have been a different story.

  • maria

    even me i hate my arms… i have a nice shape but becoz of my arms i look big.. and bcoz i have back fat .. its very hard.. what to doooo