Do Men Really Love B*tches? (Part Two)

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I was reading your comments from my first post on this and while there were a number of different opinions, they all made sense to me in their own ways. A few examples:

The EyeZuh said “I’m a firm believer that we shouldn’t generalize… maybe he just really REALLY likes you… even through your slight “mood” that morning ;) that’s why he asked you to lunch… in hopes of making u feel better! btw… did u go?”

Gina said “y’know… as much as men complain about how difficult we are, and all that, I think they are as guilty of liking The Bad Girl as we are of being attracted to Bad Boys.”

FatGirlsOpinion said “I think (men) just want what they cant have.”

I can rationalize this situation with those opinions and some of the others that were left on the last post (p.s. I didn’t go to lunch with him, but I did let him bring me something back). To be perfectly honest, when I first mentioned Daniel, I didn’t think he would warrant a second post. I assumed he would eventually understand that I wasn’t interested and move on. But, he’s still at it!

He continues to come by to annoy flirt with me and every b*tchy thing I do to deter him seems to be working against me. I understand a guy “wanting what he cant have” etc. but I’m not being cute or coy. I wish you all were here to see how little attention I give to Daniel (especially in comparison to how I act towards Robert). As I mentioned last week, this guy doesn’t really make conversation and he cracks the same corny “jokes” every time he comes by my desk. He’s a good guy, but engaging him takes too much work on my part and that’s not fun for me.

I really thought I was doing a good job of “shutting him down” when he didn’t stop by my desk on Wednesday or Thursday. But then Friday afternoon, he parked himself in front of my desk. As he asked me vague questions like “what’s goin’ on?”, “are you glad its Friday?” etc. I didn’t let my eyes leave my computer screen, I gave him one word answers and I barely grunted at his (bad) jokes. But ten minutes later he was still there! When I would say funny/rude things to him, he’d laugh, start to walk away but then he’d come back to ask me another random question.

After a while I figured if I stayed quiet, maybe he’d leave. For a few seconds, he didn’t say anything either, but instead of leaving, he started shuffling his feet and pacing around my desk. My stomach got tight. The way he was acting looked familiar but I couldn’t place it. Then it hit me: This is exactly how Robert used to act when he first started asking me out… this can not be happening! I could hear Daniel take a deep breath.

“So what are you doing this weekend?” he said.

“I’m going to dinner with a friend,” (“friend” = Robert, but he didn’t need to know that).

“Cool… cool…” Daniel continued to shuffle his feet, “Well, I was thinking about going to a beer tasting on Saturday. I don’t know if that’s something you’d be into….”

“That sounds like fun, but I’m not a beer drinker,” I replied. (Which is the truth, I hate beer) “But have fun, let me know how it goes.”

“Cool, I will” he replied and with that he finally left.

I’m at such a loss here. I feel like if I’m friendly, Daniel is going to take it the wrong way, but when I’m a b*tch he still takes it the wrong way. This all happened this past Friday, so maybe things will be different this week….

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  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07400145319560952489 MissBrown

    In all honesty if he doesn't seem to be getting the hint why don't you just tell him that you're not interested? sometime directness is the only things that works…

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06015401660522301009 FatGirlsOpinion

    Put a pic of you and guy on your desk? make a small comment about another guy? haha i think this guy has it bad for you eeek! good luck!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12384503085670445419 Blossom

    If he really likes you, he probably won't take the hint until you come out and just tell him. Or, mention you're dating someone. That might work.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/10438264356671905844 B

    Maybe try to work into the conversation that you see him as a friend, and then keep referring back to that.However he sounds like he's lacking in the whole "reading social cues" area and might not get it… Any chance you have a friend you'd like to set him up with? I've found it's a kind way of letting a guy know you're not interested.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/15479980691366086356 Punky

    In a situation similar to this I tried letting the guy know it was never going to happen. Months later I was adamantly opposing him buying me a sapphire and diamond bracelet. And he'd do the same annoying things…ie calling with NOTHING to say AT ALL! UGH!

    Some guys just don't get it. And sometimes there isn't a way out, and you just gotta let his crush on you run it's course.

    Try to be flattered by his nervous attempts.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17271045749524657149 Kaye

    I think we have determined that Daniel does not pick up on "normal social cues". I suggest you be very direct (but not rude) when he is hanging around your desk. "Look, I need to get work done, and you are distracting me. Please leave me alone" Your problem is that he is interfering with your productivity. Be clear about that. And expect to repeat this.

  • http://blog.daddysplace2.com Mike Lowrey

    You can keep playing this silly game or you can actually use words to let him know you're not interested.

    I'm not interested are 3 words you can use but there are tons of others. Go for it.

    Being a Bytch can be deemed as a flirt but saying the words above usually will bring the point home.
    There are some cases where it won't work but that's usually with NYC dudes that are…{Dumb, wait lemme be politically correct}… Slow or Ignorant.