Long Distance Relationships: Important Phone Calls


The weirdest part about getting to know Kevin long distance is how I look forward to phone calls from him like I’d look forward to a date with someone local. During the week, we talk for about 30 minutes when I get home from work, the gym etc. and on the weekends, we can talk longer and later because I don’t have to be in bed by a certain time. With Kevin being 3 hours behind I can also keep my social schedule intact. I can go out with friends and even if I get home after 2am, Kevin and I can still talk for a while. These types of evenings are becoming routine for us.

Like last Friday, I had dinner/drinks with some girlfriends, got home around 1am (10pm Kevin’s time) and was still able to curl up in my bed and talk to him until a little after 3am. This wasn’t a problem because I could sleep in as long as I wanted the next day. Well, that was the plan….

My phone rang at 12:45pm and I was still asleep. I groggily reached over to hit the “ignore” button, but when I lifted the phone off of my nightstand I saw Kevin’s name (and a cute photo of us) flashing on my screen.

“Hey mister, is everything alright?”

“Yeah… I’m fine. I’m at the hospital.”

I sat up in my bed. “What happened?”

“I had my basketball game this morning and I messed up my ankle. It might be broken.”

“Oh my gosh,” I said.

Kevin wouldn’t know what was going on until he was seen by the doctor, so I just stayed on the phone with him until his name was called. Although I had planned to sleep later, I was already awake, so I got out of bed to start my weekend chores, run some errands and wait to hear back from him.

Dating in New York has put me in a constant state of ambivalence. I try not to get my hopes up about anything because its been my experience that things can fall apart as quickly as they develop. I’ve had guys call after dates and ask to see me again and then… I never hear from them. While I say I’m excited to explore things with Kevin; each time we hang up in the back of my mind I wonder if he’s going to call again. Then when he does call, I’m pleasantly surprised. Needless to say, I’ve remained in a very guarded space.

I think that’s why it wasn’t until I was scrubbing my bathtub that I realized; perhaps I shouldn’t brush off this particular phone call.

A few years ago I got sick and ended up in the hospital for a week (I’ll tell you that story another day). Even though I was scared and sometimes bored, I didn’t call every single person in my phone. Instead I called a few select people who were important to me.

Kevin calling me during an “emergency moment” is kind of a big deal. It speaks to where he’s placed me in his life.

Maybe its time for me to give real thought where he stands in mine.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09826177885767438626 NikStar

    Yes! You are right. When there is an emergency, they call only a few ppl. I knew that I meant something to Ryan when he called me in tears because his grandmother had passed away. Ryan and I weren't even close at that point and we were still getting to know each other so that was huge. Here I am, all the way in Chicago trying to get to know him all the way in Cali and he calls me to confide in me. I was shocked. I didn't know what to say or do. It was awkward, but I knew after a while that I meant a lot to him for him to call me and tell me. Those "important phone calls" are definitely a good sign!

  • Anonymous

    I have been where you are so many times. I find myself having in insane sense of ambivalence when it comes to men. I don't know if it's the insecurity in my weight, as I have recently acquired the "extra love", or just the notion that most of my intimate endeavors have a life span of milk. But I am reminded of the words "nothing ventured, nothing gained", if we allow our past to transcend to our present than we become victims of circumstance and nostalgia. I say Veni Vidi Vici. go for the gold b/c to look back and regret is the greatest mistake anyone could make. Cheers!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09003971342905726455 Lisafashionista

    I completely agree. I was already serious about my boyfriend (now husband)when I broke my leg (we'd been together 6 months) but he was for sure the first person I called from the hospital, even before I called my parents. It also means that he knows he can talk to you when he is in a vulnerable situation, because he probably can't bring any game at that point. I don't know the history with you and this dude (will obviously have to read some posts to catch up) but I am feeling potential.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08118166101258845293 Kemi

    I'm so excited for you! I agree. Him calling you at a time like that definitely speaks to where he places you in life. This is laying the groundwork for your *new* but not new relationship.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09514481580609757683 ♥ Shrinking Kenz ♥

    Wow…so this is an exciting moment…the realization that you mean a lot to him..

    Best of luck moving forward..

  • http://www.mylipstickonhercollar.com Stiletto Siren

    Ooo La La, an emergency phone call you are right lady this is a big deal! I already told you from what you have said I like Kevin and think he's a keeper! Long distance relationships can be difficult but they have alot of perks. Always remember to follow your heart

    <3 Stiletto

  • http://www.notsosinglemama.blogspot.com Not so single mama

    I agree with you and everyone else that him calling you from the hospital means he cares. I also remember how when you first start something with someone you have these mixed emotions of excitement and anxiety. Excitement because you are getting to know a new person.. and sheer terror because they could just disappear. Hopefully this will be a turning point where you begin to relax and enjoy the ride!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04754063206192385380 Melly

    I dated D. long distance for a year and a half before he moved up here and we began living together.

    There were some big moments shared over the phone that brought us closer and closer together – including his trip to the hospital and my x-rays after getting my hand accidently slammed in a car door!

    It's a good sign – being seen as a comfort! :)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/15479980691366086356 Punky

    For the record I still love you and Kevin! I'm glad the 3 hour time change isn't kicking your butt like it did mine! haha.

    On another note, I hope his ankle is ok!

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  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11179219764752315023 Miss Innocent

    when I was in Manila, my boyfriend was in California and our timezones were 15 hours apart. I used to complain because when Im awake, he was asleep and when he was awake, I was asleep. but eventually we developed a habit that we talk after he's been to work and just in time I'm just about to prepare for work.

    now we're on the same state. but he's in sfo and im in lax.
    same timezone.

    i dont know if it was just better that I was in a different country. because now, when I wake up he has work, I don't, and we barely talk. because when he's home from work he's already tired. and when I wake up, he's busy at work.

    hmmm that made me think eh.. so how come when I was in manila, he was still able to go to the internet after work? … lol

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