I woke up slightly disoriented, but after a few minutes I realized that I had fallen asleep fully clothed and was using Kevin as a pillow. This was our last night together before I flew back. We’d packed our evening full of plans that included miniature golf and hanging out with his friends. At the end of it all, we’d come back to his apartment and apparently we both passed out while watching a movie. I tried not to move as I felt myself rise and fall slightly with his breathing.
I looked at the clock on his cable box. It was 2:15am and I needed to get home asap. My traditional parents would not be happy with me spending the night at a boys apartment. On the other hand, I knew that I wouldn’t have time to see Kevin again before I flew back to New York. Even though it was time for me to go, I stayed put.
When I booked my flight home for Christmas, I never would have imagined that all of this would happen. A two week dating whirlwind had been the breath of fresh air I needed after everything that happened (or didn’t happen) in 2009. As much as I wanted to make this experience the barometer by which I measured dating from now on, I had to be careful. Maybe this relationship unfolded so quickly and easily because of the time constraints and the distance. No matter what our feelings were for each other in the past, Kevin and I both knew going into things that there was an expiration date on our time together.
If Kevin lived in New York would he have been so direct? If I lived in California would I have made myself so available?
Who knows… and honestly, who cares? Being curled up with Kevin at 2:15am felt amazing. I kissed Kevin until he woke up. “I gotta go,” I said.
“Don’t, you should stay,” he said groggily.
I tried to get up, but he grabbed my hips and pulled me back. I let him hold me for a few more minutes. It was so nice.
“This is so nice,” he said.
I knew that if I didn’t get up at that moment, I would never leave, so I pulled myself together and let Kevin walk me to my car. I wanted to ask if we’d keep in touch, or how Kevin wanted to handle things but I didn’t. Ruining the moment with logistics just seemed silly. Even if Kevin and I never spoke again, I had a brand new perspective on relationships and what I deserved thanks to him, and that was more than enough.
We said goodbye as if neither of us realized I would be across the country in 48 hours. The only thing that gave us away was our final hug, which was kind of long. Then I think I said something like “see you later” before getting into my car and driving off.
When I pulled into my parents driveway I reached into my purse to check my messages and take my phone off of silent mode. I had two text messages. One was from my parents reminding me to set the alarm system when I got home. The other was from Robert:
Forget the California sunshine and come back to New York….