Curvy Converations: “PSA for the Skinnies”


I can’t explain how much I love my readers!

I got this email the other day from one of you and it just goes to show how sharp, funny and insightful TBGB fans are:


My friend thinks I need to be set up. Can’t say I really disagree with her. She started working for a new company recently. Apparently there’s a cute boy she noticed. She said she was going to find out if he was dating anyone, and if he wasn’t, that I might find myself with a blind date.

Okay, fine. I appreciate the effort and concern. Could even turn out to be really fun. But here’s the thing…

She has a duty to disclose the fat.

People cannot go tell a boy (regardless of what he looks like) that they have a cute, smart, funny, adorable lawyer-friend they want to set him up with and fail to tell him that I’m a chubby girl — even though 83% of my curves are in all the right places. I know she is my good friend and probably doesn’t “see” me as a fat girl, but it will save him, me, and her much trouble if she tells him up front. I don’t need to see the disappointment on his face when he meets me for the first time and realizes that the cute, smart, funny adorable lawyer-friend is not what he pictured in his mind.

That is all.


Hey J.,

Yes. Yes. Yes. I don’t have anything to add, you’ve said it all!


P.S. Have any of YOU been set up on a blind date? Did you “disclose the fat”? How’d it go?

  • Danielle

    I always disclose the fat. Not because of any shame but because I remember the surprised looks from high school blind dates. Actually since I graduated high school 18 years ago, its never been a problem. Men always were eager to meet regardless. lol


    I have had the same thought. My friend described me to a guy as "thick". Now, I have heard myself referenced as "thick" before, but it's one of those things that means different things to different people. Everyone has their own idea and tolerance for thickness. But at the end of the day, I'm pretty confident in my attractiveness regardless of what ideal a person may have in their mind. Even if I am different, I might actually be better.

  • princessvalecia

    I disclose the fat…because like anything else it could be a deal breaker…though I am NOT ashamed of myself. If I got set up w/ a guy and they described him as the most attractive well put together doctor on the planet who just happened to be perfect for me and I get there and he is say…….5'4" deal broken! Why? I'm 5'4"! I don't like short men! My preference. I know men that don't like heavier women. I told my BF of 2 years before we met "I'm just a little fat black girl from Wisconsin" and his response "Good thing I like cheese, milk, and little fat black girls" and no I wasn't insulted. LOL

  • Secretia

    It is one way to avoid an unpleasant situation, yes, say it I think.

  • Kristin

    I felt like I was writing this post! LOL. I completely agree. It is very important to me that when setting me up, my friends be as honest as possible about my appearance, mainly, my body type. I love me, and that's great… but I realize that attraction (on both ends) is important… so I always stress that. I, like J, have had the "but i AM a big girl convo" with friends because, since they love me so, they don't always "see" me as fat… so I have to bring them back to reality, lol. You know what though? I find that my guy friends are VERY honest when they're describing me to friends… maybe because men tend to be much more focused on that, than women… hmm.

  • Anonymous

    I ALWAYS make sure they know before hand…I can't imagine the humiliation of walking up and being able to see the dissapointment…because yes while I am 5'9" with longgg cury dark hair and blue green eyes and proportioned well I am also "thick" according to guys and they need to know that beforehand! :)

  • Girl of True Heart

    absofreakinglutely. in fact, i disclose the fat on the online profiles, because i got so damn tired of the "your photos are gorgeous," and after meeting "you're not my type." i phrase it in a cool way like "laughing as often as possible, losing weight, and meditating" under "What are you doing with your life" section or in the Additional Info section. i see it as simply weeding out the weak ones.

  • Payton_vege

    Amazing write-up! This could aid plenty of people find out more about this particular issue. Are you keen to integrate video clips coupled with these? It would absolutely help out. Your conclusion was spot on and thanks to you; I probably won’t have to describe everything to my pals. I can simply direct them here!