Filed Under: Dating
Let me begin by saying that I love dating.
I love the awkwardness of being asked out, I love saying yes, I love the anticipation of a date night, the excitement of choosing an outfit and I love spending a few hours with someone new who is focused on getting to know me and then seeing what happens.
As someone who often learns a lot about people just by listening to them talk, one of my pet peeves in dating is when the date turns into an interview. I hate when it becomes obvious that a guy has a set list of questions that he asks every girl. But I find that this is happening more and more… so I have compiled a list of The Five Most Annoying Questions in Dating.
I’m sure there are many more, but these are the ones that I hear over and over again:
What do you do for fun?
Okay, I get it– you’re trying to get a feel for my interests, but I can assure you, I don’t categorize my life’s events under “fun” or “not fun”. I’ve never called my girlfriends and said “do you want to go have some fun?” So a question like that, to me, is very strange.
The other day Robert and I went to Bed Bath and Beyond because I wanted new curtains. They didn’t have what I was looking for, but we ended up spending a ridiculous amount of time in the store doing random things like sitting in the massage chairs talking and carefully selecting the perfect lint roller. We had a blast, but if I told someone that I go to Bed Bath and Beyond “for fun”, they would look at me like I was nuts.
I guess for me, it’s not what you’re doing; but who you’re with that makes life fun.
What kind of guys do you like?
As a PSP of course I’ve wondered if guys who have been interested in me have dated big girls before, but I also know that finding out all of his exes are Beyonce lookalikes wont do anything but make me self-conscious. So, I dont ask. But I know that when the time is right, and if its relevant to our relationship… I’ll find out.
Why does it matter what kind of guys I’ve dated in the past? If you have me on an actual date, there’s one reason I’m there… You. So, if my last 12 boyfriends were NBA players and you happen to be 5’1, that’s irrelevant. Even if all of my exes happened to be loud and arrogant and you’re quiet and humble, its irrelevant. If the kind of guys I usually go for were what I needed, I would still be with them, so do us both a favor and give me space to discover something new in you.
It’s like they say: If you always do what you’ve always done; you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten.
Do you live alone?
Usually, when I’m asked this question I will respond “why do you ask?” to which the guy will say “I was just wondering…” But let’s be real, when a guy is inquiring about your living situation it’s probably because he’s trying to gauge how soon it will be before he’s in your apartment and more importantly your bedroom.
(The funny thing is, guys assume that girls who live with roommates won’t be as quick to invite them over. But I’ve definitely heard all of my previous roommates having sex at one point or another.)
This question just shows that a man is calculating how soon we’ll be hooking up, which is just tacky.
So… you like ________ guys?
This question is a little different from “what kind of guys do you like?” I mostly hear this question when I’m dating interracially:
So… you like Asian guys?
So… you like Indian guys?
I’ve also heard it once when talking to a guy who was overweight:
So… you like big guys?
Maybe my issue is just that I don’t like stupid questions. If you are Asian and I’ve agreed to go on a date with you, isn’t it a safe bet that your race isn’t important to me? I’m not going to go out with an Asian guy only to tell him “No, I do not like Asian guys.”
Why make me state the obvious?
And finally, Number One…
So, why are you single?
This question is #1 because it is so ridiculous!
My typical answer to this is pretty literal “I’m single because I don’t have a boyfriend.” To which the person who’s asked the question usually realizes how silly the question is. Then they all reply with the same predictable response “Well, its just that you’re so beautiful—I’m surprised no one has snatched you up yet.”
I don’t think guys realize that it sounds like an accusation. Why are you single? Why can’t you get a man? How come no one wants you?
Again, I ask; what am I supposed to say to that? I mean, should I say “I’m single because I refused to sleep with the last guy I dated after six weeks”? or I could say “I’m single because the last guy I was interested in wasn’t attracted to a woman of my size”, maybe I should scare them off and say “I’m single because I tend to stalk the men I go out with if they dont call me”. I dont know….
What I do know is, I hate this question with a passion.
The crazy thing is– when men ask “why are you single?”, they all are expecting the same answer. You see I’ve gotten so very tired of this question that I’ve started to probe every man who uses it. I’ll ask, “What do you think is a good answer for a question like that?” and 100% of the time, these men offer the same response: “I just haven’t found the right one yet.”
So, if this is a script that has been played through a million times with no variety, why do they continue? And am I a bad date if I dont want to deliver predictable lines?
Anyway, these are my top five, what bad/offensive/awkward questions have YOU been asked?