Um, Are We Dating? (Part Four)


The doorbell rang just as I finished curling my hair.

“Coming!” I yelled as I quickly applied a coat of lip gloss. I opened the door and there was Robert holding a bottle of my favorite wine. He greeted me with a kiss on the cheek and an approving smile.
It was my birthday, and I felt good….
I still wasn’t sure where exactly I stood with Robert, but we had been spending a lot of time together and though I hadn’t really thought about it this way, I realized that (for once) I had a date on my birthday!
We cracked open the bottle of wine and talked in the kitchen while we waited for my roommate, Molly, to finish getting dressed. Molly has been privy to the Jeremy drama over the past few months and from everything she’s heard about Robert, she’s on Team Robert all the way. Robert and I were laughing in the kitchen when she strolled in dressed and ready to go. Robert poured her a glass of wine and I sat back as they conversed for the first time.
“I can’t believe we’re drinking Celeste’s birthday present,” Molly said between sips.
“Oh” Robert replied, “this isn’t her present”
I tried to keep a calm/not too excited face since this was all news to me… I wondered what he planned on getting me. I didn’t have too much time to focus on it though because we were going to be late meeting my friends downtown.
We hopped in a cab and zipped down to the Lower East Side where my closest friends were waiting to help me celebrate my birthday on the dance floor. We walked into the lounge and before I could finish introductions, Robert had ordered a round of drinks for all of my friends. My best friend, Adam, looked at me and gave me an approving nod, looks like Robert is just full of surprises!
The night was going well and then something interesting happened. Slowly my friends all started to leave. Usually they will party with me until I am done, but this year they all left whenever they were ready and I didn’t mind. I had to laugh as every friend that left leaned over and said something to Robert (i.e. “take care of our girl”, “make sure she gets home okay”, etc.) each time he assured them that he would and they’d just smile at me and take off. At 2:30am Robert and I realized it was just us and kept on dancing, then at 4am we decided we had danced as much as we could.
After some late night/early morning pizza for him and water for me, we made our way back to my apartment as the sun was coming up. He walked me to my door and while him kissing me for the first time would have made it a perfect birthday– sadly, that did not happen.
I really can’t complain though… he took care of me, made sure my friends were taken care of and I have so much fun when I’m with him… Of course I can speculate from his actions, but it would be great if he could tell me what he’s thinking. Where do I stand? How does he see me?
Hopefully I’ll find out soon.

A Big Girl Rant: Plus Size Travel


It was 8am and my plane was boarding.

It wasn’t till I made my way past First Class (I’m not that fabulous… yet) that I remembered something I forgot to do before this trip:


Every time I travel on a plane I swear up and down that the next time I fly I will have lost ____ pounds figuring that if I loose enough, perhaps I will get on a plane and not stress about what seat I’m in and how comfortable I (and the people next to me) will be.

First I sit down, trying not to bruise my hips as they slide past the arm rests. I usually choose a window seat because the idea of sitting in the middle seat is just torture and while the aisle seems like a good idea, who really wants their arm banged by a soda cart? Not me!

Next comes the battle of the arm rest. I put it up, to give myself a little more space and 9 times out of 10 it stays there, but then there is that one passenger who tries to push it back down, possibly bruising my hip again! Sometimes they say “oh sorry” and put it back up, but sometimes they don’t… which leaves me traveling with an armrest cutting into me for hours (maybe the cart banging into my arm isn’t such a bad thing…)

And when I fly home to see my parents? Forget it! They live in a relatively small city and so I’m often on older, smaller jets with seat belts that rarely fit. This means that if the flight attendant notices that I am attempting to sit on/hide my too small seat belt, she will ask me to “buckle up” and then I will have to ask her to look in her little airplane closet and bring me… a seat belt extender!

Usually my Big Girl Rants are reserved for other people, but honestly this one is for me. Every time I travel I go through these things, but the person who has the power to change my experience is me.

I don’t have any travel plans involving a plane until the holidays, lets see if I can make the necessary changes so my luggage is the only thing stuffed into a plane.