Being a Fabulous Fat Girl is Hard Work!


The other day I was waiting for the bus, when I ran into a mutual (skinny) friend of mine.

“Look at you, you look so cute!” she said, taking in my outfit.

It was a nice day, so I was wearing a 50′s style black dress, with large lapels and a full skirt, a black cardigan and black peep-toe heels (showing off my bubble-gum pink pedicure).

“But then again, you always look nice,” she continued. “Where do you get your clothes?”

I rattled off a few stores where I shop that have both plus and regular sizes, she suggested a store in SoHo where she loves to get jeans (like I’d ever find anything there!) and we caught up a bit.

The conversation was harmless, but it got me thinking about how much effort I have to put out to “always look nice”. I’ve mentioned before that my (skinny) friends can throw on a T-shirt and Jeans, throw their hair in a pony tail and still look fabulous. But as a PSP, I know that if I pulled together that same outfit, I’d just look… frumpy. Instead, I have to plan out even my most casual looks. I haven’t worn a T-shirt since the 8th grade and shopping for a pair of gym pants can be an all weekend affair because at my current size, I am not the chick who can work out in a pair of over sized sweats, rolled down at the waist and a tank top. At the same time, I am committed to finding clothes that show off my assets while hiding my flaws.

I guess its the old adage of working twice as hard to get half as far.

For me its a daily accomplishment to leave the house looking nice, if not fabulous. Thankfully I have a passion for clothes and I embrace the challenge, but sometimes I see a PSP who isn’t living up to her fashion potential and I just want to give her the list of reasonably priced stores where I shop. Of course, lately I feel like that list is getting smaller and smaller as stores like Old Navy and Century 21 rob me of my PSP shopping experience. (Century 21 seems to be fazing out their plus section and Old Navy has banished their plus sizes to the Internet only).

On the other hand, there are plenty of PSP’s in the City who are rocking out with fabulous looks on the daily… I see you and it makes me proud! For all the trips taken out of your way, just to find the perfect black top that doesn’t hug your stomach too tightly… for all the times you’ve held your breath hoping that a pair of jeans you ordered online would fit properly… for all the shipping fees you’ve been forced to pay to stores that only cater to you online…

I commend you!

  • nubianqueen89

    I'm what some would call a small PSP (i'm a 14 on top and a 16 on the bottom) but i feel alot of PSPs are intimidated by "skinny" stores. I actuually wear tops from wet seal, forever 21 and the like. I've just learned what types of material and style of tops i can wear. I even got adventourous and bought a pair skinny…yes skinny jeans from wet seal's plus size department online and I'm proud to say they are amazing and fit like a gem. I know plus size fashion is limited but i feel PSPs shouldn't limit themselves from certain "skinny" stores.
    BTW…i <3 your blog!!!

  • Ms. LMC

    Wow, Wet Seal- good look Nubianqueen89!

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  • Glib Gurl

    Girl, I have had almost this exact same conversation with a “straight-size” friend of mine who commented that I am always dressed so nice and I had to tell her that it’s not (just) because I like to dress up – it’s a matter of necessity! Need to put folks on notice that even though I’m overweight, I do actually care about my appearance . . . love your blog!

  • Charon

    To any PSP that loves to shop, here are some places that have some good finds for us Torrid, obvi… Missphit, I find some great jersey knit clothing at American Apparel, Old Navy, you would be surprised at what you can find at Target, Etsy, Alloy, Dorothy Perkins of UK, Evans of UK, Eshakti, Forever 21 (both plus size and regular) and the regular department stores. Please trust and believe that these stores have great quality clothing, fashionable and are reasonably priced.

  • Absentha

    New reader, loving it so far. I get what you mean about us big girls having to put more effort into looking good, but personally, I think it’s a matter of personality rather than size. I love the pin-up trend and I sometimes dress accordingly, but most of the time I’m what you could call a metalhead. Give me a pair of tight jeans, my army boots and a cool hoodie and I feel prettier and get more compliments than whenever I am required to dress more formally.
    I discussed this matter with a friend not very long ago and I realised that, since we’ve always been taught to hide our bodies, we have probably been paying more attention to small details, hairdos, make up, etc… A guy once told me that bigger girls always seem either slobs or hotties, there is no middle position (in his opinion, of course), and I guess it is because we tend to pay more attention to those small details that can really make you stand out (in a positive way).

  • Dee

    Over the years my size has fluctuated, but I’ve always been plus size. I’ve been able to find some clothing at “mainstream” stores… mostly dresses, but lately I feel like I’m being sized out. Like the upper sizes are no longer carried or they’re much smaller than they were in the past. I used to buy my workout bottoms at the Gap and now the same size in workout bottoms is too small. Is it just me or are stores not wanting to cater to the PSP? It’s so strange since to me, it seems like there are more PSPs now.