Large(girl) Lessons: If you like me, dont call me fat.


Good Morning Class!

I’m not sure how many guys read TBGB, but if you’re a male and attracted to PSP’s, then this lesson is for you.

Last night I was at a birthday party in the East Village. The place was tiny, the DJ was good and I looked cute in dark wash jeans and a yellow strapless top with a sweetheart neckline. I was dancing with friends when a guy gently grabbed my wrist. I let him pull me away from my friends for a dance. That’s when he pulled me close and quickly ruined the moment by whispering in my ear: “I loooove big girls”

I know I am big… I know it! There is no need for you to remind me of my size when you are hitting on me. I can bet that none of my skinny friends have had a man tell them “I loooove small women”. You are stating the obvious! I am smart enough to gather that if you are approaching me, you don’t have a problem with my size. So there is no need to say things like:

“I like a girl with meat on her bones”, “Big girls need love too” or to refer to how much smaller you are (i.e. “you don’t mind a skinny guy like me?”)

All of these things make me feel like a freak show, a fetish, a play thing. Now that I think about it… if you’re approaching me like that, maybe that’s how you actually see me.

But if you really want to get to know me, leave my size out of it. Trust me, if you give me the proper romantic attention I will understand your attraction to my body.

Class Dismissed.

  • Angel

    Bravo! excellent lesson, Cece. The tactlessness and the audacity of some people makes me crazy. How did you handle that? I hope you punched him or at least said something that put him in his place before you walked away.

  • Jourdana

    Well put!
    I thought I was the only one who felt that it was closer to an insult than a come on.
    I’m with Angel, I hope you punched him, or better yet simply and abruptly walked away. What an idiot…

  • Deidre

    Seriously, the guy deserved a quick knee in the nads.

  • Little Ms Blogger

    You couldn’t have said that better!

  • Kristin

    THANK YOU!!!!! There are so many moments at which i want to scream this from the mountain tops! Why do men feel the need to do that?

  • Anonymous


  • nikkid

    one thing i hate is when guys try to flirt and refer to me as Big mama..Hatttttttttttte it! its not cute and im not flattered

  • Girl of True Heart

    OMG YES! For me, the equivalent is when I'm on a first date and the guy says "You better eat, I love a woman with a big appetite…" Is he kidding me? What if all I want to eat is something small? I hate that shit!

  • Secretia

    Thank you for saying what every bigger woman wants to have said. I am proud of you for speaking up!

    Sincerely, Secretia

  • ~Sarafina~

    APPLAUSE!!! Best blog post ever.

  • Jennifer

    I think you make a good point but your comparison to skinny girls being told "I loooove small women" is not accurate. Many men tell women that. I am small and I have been told that, myself.
    My boyfriend is what you would call a…"nerd". And you know what, I have told him "I loooove nerds!" He was embarrassed a bit at first, but he began to realize that in my mind, it was the sexiest thing he could possibly be!
    By the way, I LOVE your blog and I read it often.

  • Pingback: Tales of a Plus Size Bridesmaid: The Bachelor(ette) Party | The Big Girl Blog: Plus Size Fashion, Beauty, Fitness & Lifestyle

  • Tamikka

    I am a big girl…as your blog name states…and I don’t mind if the guy shares his affinity for women of my size.

  • Jennifer Dome

    I often felt objectified or like a fetish if someone commented on liking my size too. As you said, if you take me out, show me affection and generally care for me as in any dating/couple situation, it will be obvious that you like me, my body and that my size is OK with you. It’s not necessary to point it out. However, I do think some girls have the habit of asking “So you like bigger girls?” or some such question. I think I was guilty of this when I was younger. Same response. Uh, duh, of course he does if he’s out with you, so why make it an issue? Maybe some guys do this because they’ve been with insecure girls who need the reassurance that the guy is into them. I’m not saying it’s right, I’m just wondering if they’re preconditioned to put bigger girls at ease because they’ve been in contact with so many who lack confidence.

  • Bianca Vaccarini

    That is probably the worst pick up line ever! What did you say in response? “thanks..?”

  • Pingback: Say “More Cushion for the Pushing” and I WILL Dump You. | The Big Girl Blog: Plus Size Dating, Fashion, Beauty, Fitness & Lifestyle

  • MizzBee

    CAN I GET AN AMEN HONEY!!!! I’ve had guys say similar things to me, and i sometimes feel offended. Honestly what is the point in commenting on my size?I know I’m a big girl, I don’t need you to remind me.

    As i like to say “who are you trying to convince? Me or yourself?” and i believe they are trying to convince themselves that they like “big girls”. Besides, we are Plus Size Princesses not “big girls”! :)

  • Angela

    One thing i CANNOT stand is when guys say “I love thick girls.” Um excuse me? I don’t care how in “thick” is right now, but it will never be in for me. Its just a semi-polite way of pointing out how un-skinny someone is, and in my opinion its not even that polite. Huge turn off.